Recently someone said I was condescending. Was I supposed to insulted? I meant to be condescending and sarcastic, that was the whole reason I said what I said. I have come to the point that I often wonder if I am so callused that I don’t care if people try to insult me, or if I am so senile, I think it is a compliment. Or both, maybe, sort of.
I used to be a doormat, really, I was always worried about how people saw me, afraid of offending someone, and very insecure in my own intellectual abilities. It took being able to make a fool of myself on purpose to break that prison. You see, in Cub Scouts, you don’t get to sit aside and tell boys what to do, you have to show them, or they will find alternative ways of using the items you give them. And those are generally a way that starts a fight, get someone dirty, wet, or both, or end up with someone having hurt feelings.
In the name of control and peace a Den Leader and other leaders have got to be willing to do exactly what they boys are expected to do, only add in silly things like The Bear Goes Over The Mountain, and John Jacob Jinglhimer, Schmidt. Then as a trainer of leaders, I had to teach them how to be goofy. So, after all that, I stopped being a doormat.
I found, after going back to college at the age of 36, that I was a lot more intelligent than I thought I was, resulting in doing a Happy Dance when I graduated in the top ten in my class. All in all, that confidence brought out the strength in me to stand up to just about anyone. And, as I aged, I stopped caring what others thought of me at all. There are so many other things to think about and worry about than something that inane.
Here’s the deal, though, a confident person has to be willing to expect others to be intimidated any time they stand up for their believes, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. By stating, even without undo emphasis, any of those, people tend to automatically bring their defenses to the forefront to hide their own insecurities. If one is factual and can prove his or her point, that tends to make people call names, like condescending, know it all, smart ass, and it degenerates from there into the mediocrity of banal swear words and accusations.
Once, when I was in my mid twenties, I went to a party with a friend. We were waiting to talk to the hostess, who was engaged in conversation with a very loud, demanding female. After seeing us waiting, she turned on us and nearly shouted, “If you want to say something, speak the hell up instead of standing there like a couple of idiots.” My friend nearly fainted from all the hostility thrown at her, but it just annoyed me enough to step out of my comfort zone and say in my most Southern Belle voice, “With all due respect, I was taught never to interrupt my elders when they were talking, but to wait until I was acknowledged before speaking,” I think I insulted her, because she turned as red as a strawberry, gasped like a hooked fish, and stomped off. Just as I was getting ready to apologize to the hostess, she hugged me and thanked me for running the obnoxious female off. I was told that the female had just taken a course in female communication, or some such hippy dippy feminist nonsense, and she was over doing the part about speaking up of oneself.
Now I can see speaking up for oneself, I think we all should be able to do that, regardless of gender etc. Taking ages for people to truly master, Communication is a learned talent, Because as all women know, and a few men, communication is more that words, it has to do with everything from body language to the tone one uses to say something. I think women can speak to each other and communicate clearly, however, communication between a male and a female is not always so smooth. That, not money, in MY opinion is what causes most issues between a couple.
At my age, almost older than dirt, I have the freedom to say exactly what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want. While I can do that, I still have a strong base of common sense and proper behavior in public that keeps me from saying too much that might be out of bounds. (I wouldn’t sing, O What A Beautiful Feeling at a funeral or anything., there are limits.) However, I am that old lady to stares down rude children, insults and laughs at the idiotic teens who think they are so cool and different, when they are just like we were, only in uglier clothes. And I use sarcasm around holier than thou adults who pontificate to the point of inaccurate information and emotional overload to prove they are right and everyone else is wrong.
I have to say I do get a kick out of tweaking (not twerking, people, read the word) someone when they become so far off base as to be part of the lunar landing site. And I love to poke holes in someones favorite theory or particular cause and take things to the farthest level of inaccuracy, just to get a rise out of them. There is nothing more satisfying that bringing down some patently vociferous bellowing intellectual to the level of mediocrity that is his or her true domain. Those that spout the same tired theme of a particular party or group leave themselves open to an incredible amount of sarcasm and gentle educating that is loads of fun for me.
My point, I guess, is that as I get older I flat out do not give a flying flip what others think of me, and when someone starts trying to insult me, all I can do is laugh at them for their silly insecurities. There are, however, a few things that I won’t tolerate. Do not insult my family, my religion, my country, or anyone who has served in the military. The values I cherish are all wrapped up in those particular people and things. I do not find it amusing to see anyone insult a veteran, and heaven help you if you insult my country or dishonor our flag. Not that you would be hurting me, but you do not hurt that which I love and cherish. Ever.
Anyway, to the guy that called me condescending, you really need to reel in your insecurities and learn to use facts to back up your statements rather than emotions. In the vernacular of common mediocrity, get off your hissy fit high horse, and grow some cojones so you can at least pretend to be a man. And yes, that was condescending and sarcastic. Suck it up cupcake, no one likes to listen to a whiner.