Wally World After Dark


If you want to see the weird, wild, insane, and down right disgusting, to to Wally World after dark. Shudder…. My day was going great until I had to go in there. Yeah, the one in Southaven (next time a 15 minute drive out of my way first)! If you have ever been to the one in Southaven, MS, you know what I mean. From the guy dribbling his basketball down the aisle until it got away from him and broke the olive oil bottles, the woman with four kids running wild and having a fist fight right in the middle of the store, to the guy who called me a Beach (you know what he was trying to say),when I asked his clueless, phone chatting, wife to let me by. I had to remind him how to say the word in English, reminding him the difference between a bitch (female dog) and a beach are vast – and and got off one of my best zingers in ages.

“Senior, I am not a beach, a beach has sand and rocks, I don’t. And I doubt you could find your rocks with a map and a compass, as they must be very small. After all, a real man doesn’t call an elderly woman names.” So, he counters with the expected “F You Beach. ”

I managed not to laugh, but said, “I didn’t know beaches could do that. However, I prefer a man, not something with tiny rocks, who thinks he is a man because he can swear in two languages. But, it is nice to know you fancy me.” Boy was his wife ticked…. I speak enough Spanish to know he would be sleeping on the sofa tonight. The guy with them was laughing like a loon. He kept saying, That old lady got you, bro, she got you good. The wife was not a happy camper…. Ha ha. I won. If you don’t want to be set into your place, don’t take on an English teacher in a verbal war. We win.

Like I said, Wally World after dark, you just never know what you will see.

Suck It Up Cupcake.


Recently someone said I was condescending. Was I supposed to insulted? I meant to be condescending and sarcastic, that was the whole reason I said what I said. I have come to the point that I often wonder if I am so callused that I don’t care if people try to insult me, or if I am so senile, I think it is a compliment. Or both, maybe, sort of.

I used to be a doormat, really, I was always worried about how people saw me, afraid of offending someone, and very insecure in my own intellectual abilities. It took being able to make a fool of myself on purpose to break that prison. You see, in Cub Scouts, you don’t get to sit aside and tell boys what to do, you have to show them, or they will find alternative ways of using the items you give them. And those are generally a way that starts a fight, get someone dirty, wet, or both, or end up with someone having hurt feelings.

In the name of control and peace a Den Leader and other leaders have got to be willing to do exactly what they boys are expected to do, only add in silly things like The Bear Goes Over The Mountain, and John Jacob Jinglhimer, Schmidt. Then as a trainer of leaders, I had to teach them how to be goofy. So, after all that, I stopped being a doormat.

I found, after going back to college at the age of 36, that I was a lot more intelligent than I thought I was, resulting in doing a Happy Dance when I graduated in the top ten in my class. All in all, that confidence brought out the strength in me to stand up to just about anyone. And, as I aged, I stopped caring what others thought of me at all. There are so many other things to think about and worry about than something that inane.

Here’s the deal, though, a confident person has to be willing to expect others to be intimidated any time they stand up for their believes, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. By stating, even without undo emphasis, any of those, people tend to automatically bring their defenses to the forefront to hide their own insecurities. If one is factual and can prove his or her point, that tends to make people call names, like condescending, know it all, smart ass, and it degenerates from there into the mediocrity of banal swear words and accusations.

Once, when I was in my mid twenties, I went to a party with a friend. We were waiting to talk to the hostess, who was engaged in conversation with a very loud, demanding female. After seeing us waiting, she turned on us and nearly shouted, “If you want to say something, speak the hell up instead of standing there like a couple of idiots.” My friend nearly fainted from all the hostility thrown at her, but it just annoyed me enough to step out of my comfort zone and say in my most Southern Belle voice, “With all due respect, I was taught never to interrupt my elders when they were talking, but to wait until I was acknowledged before speaking,” I think I insulted her, because she turned as red as a strawberry, gasped like a hooked fish, and stomped off. Just as I was getting ready to apologize to the hostess, she hugged me and thanked me for running the obnoxious female off. I was told that the female had just taken a course in female communication, or some such hippy dippy feminist nonsense, and she was over doing the part about speaking up of oneself.

Now I can see speaking up for oneself, I think we all should be able to do that, regardless of gender etc. Taking ages for people to truly master, Communication is a learned talent, Because as all women know, and a few men, communication is more that words, it has to do with everything from body language to the tone one uses to say something. I think women can speak to each other and communicate clearly, however, communication between a male and a female is not always so smooth. That, not money, in MY opinion is what causes most issues between a couple.

At my age, almost older than dirt, I have the freedom to say exactly what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want. While I can do that, I still have a strong base of common sense and proper behavior in public that keeps me from saying too much that might be out of bounds. (I wouldn’t sing, O What A Beautiful Feeling at a funeral or anything., there are limits.) However, I am that old lady to stares down rude children, insults and laughs at the idiotic teens who think they are so cool and different, when they are just like we were, only in uglier clothes. And I use sarcasm around holier than thou adults who pontificate to the point of inaccurate information and emotional overload to prove they are right and everyone else is wrong.

I have to say I do get a kick out of tweaking (not twerking, people, read the word) someone when they become so far off base as to be part of the lunar landing site. And I love to poke holes in someones favorite theory or particular cause and take things to the farthest level of inaccuracy, just to get a rise out of them. There is nothing more satisfying that bringing down some patently vociferous bellowing intellectual to the level of mediocrity that is his or her true domain. Those that spout the same tired theme of a particular party or group leave themselves open to an incredible amount of sarcasm and gentle educating that is loads of fun for me.

My point, I guess, is that as I get older I flat out do not give a flying flip what others think of me, and when someone starts trying to insult me, all I can do is laugh at them for their silly insecurities. There are, however, a few things that I won’t tolerate. Do not insult my family, my religion, my country, or anyone who has served in the military. The values I cherish are all wrapped up in those particular people and things. I do not find it amusing to see anyone insult a veteran, and heaven help you if you insult my country or dishonor our flag. Not that you would be hurting me, but you do not hurt that which I love and cherish. Ever.

Anyway, to the guy that called me condescending, you really need to reel in your insecurities and learn to use facts to back up your statements rather than emotions. In the vernacular of common mediocrity, get off your hissy fit high horse, and grow some cojones so you can at least pretend to be a man. And yes, that was condescending and sarcastic. Suck it up cupcake, no one likes to listen to a whiner.

I Am Cursed


I am beginning to think I am cursed. It seems I am destined to constantly deal with clueless, manner-less, obnoxious people. As the saying goes, I am surrounded by idiots. I am also cursed, literally, by those same obnoxious, caustic people when I ask/tell/demand that they cease and desist doing whatever ignorant, rude, lewd, or behavioral inept thing they are doing.

Yesterday, we were trying to get all our shopping done before our two-year old granddaughter got to the meltdown stage that signals she has had too much day. We were stuck in a line of cars in front of a big box store, because a couple had decided they were too precious to take a chance on getting wet in the drizzling rain. They weren’t just taking up one lane, but were parked right smack dab in the middle of both lanes. Folks were squeezing around them going in both directions. Hence the tail back of vehicles.

After fighting past them and getting into a parking place, I walked up to the woman sitting in one of the handicapped scooters and asked her if she knew that her truck was blocking traffic and causing no end of headaches for the other drivers trying to get around it. Her response was less than stellar. It began with F and ended with you. (Why does everyone use that word when trying to be insulting. Do they really know what it means? Probably not. Stupid is as stupid does.)

So, I said my usual, “No thanks, I don’t swing that way, but it is nice to know you fancy me.” Again, with the F and you thing. But, this time she upped the ante and called me a whore. I was walking away. But she used that word right in front of kids, and, as I was walking away, she shouted it at me. I did an abrupt about-face and walked back toward her. “Are you sure about that? Do you have undeniable proof? What makes you think I would be that kind of woman?” By then I was just a few feet from her, and that cow tried to run me down with the scooter! I stopped her from hitting me, and looked her right in the eye. “Look, all you have to do is get your fat ass out of this scooter, get in your ugly truck and move it so people can get past. Until you do, you can be held responsible for blocking traffic if anything goes wrong and you cause someone to wreck. Learn some manners while you’re at it.” I didn’t raise my voice, I didn’t lose my temper – but it was close.

“You called me a fat ass!” “Well, you ARE fat!” (she was really obese. A sloppy, careless, kind of obese– morbidly so.) Seeing that I wasn’t going to lose my temper, she tried the pity card. “I will have you know that I have had cancer….” I stopped her right there by laughing. “Big whoop, you are still here and alive.” (You know, everyone I know with cancer lost weight. She certainly didn’t look like she missed any meals.) I had cancer too, that ended in a hysterectomy. That isn’t any excuse to sit on my duff and expect everyone to cater to my whims.



Then her husband, as skinny as she is fat, said, “I bet you never block anyone do you?” It was said in a very snotty voice. “No sir, I do not ever intentionally block anyone. It is rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. If I have accidentally done so, I move my vehicle, apologize and get on with what I need to do.” “Yeah, I bet,” he said. “Well then, you would win that bet. Besides, I was raised with manners, and it is clear your mother didn’t raise you right, or you would know better. Your wife, or whatever she is to you, is obviously uneducated and low-class, or she wouldn’t be reduced to using swear words and calling people filthy names when she is caught out doing something wrong.”

The woman said, “Get the F out of my way, I am going to put this cart up so someone else can use it.” I know it was bad of me, but it sort of slipped out, “I sure wouldn’t want to sit where you’ve been, I might catch something, like stupidity. I’m surprised you can get it to move with your fat ass sitting on it.” No, I don’t feel bad about it at all.

Calling any woman a whore is beyond demeaning, it is foul, ugly, and designed to hurt. It didn’t hurt me so much as piss me off. And it pissed me off because there were little kids standing right there, including my two-year old granddaughter, who heard her use that sort of language. Now, I imagine some of them hear the F word every day since so many people us it as everything from a noun to a dangling participle in day-to-day language. However, it is still wrong to talk like that in front of kids, because some of them may have actually been raised by parents who are doing their best to teach them right from wrong.

So, I am cursed, literally, by idiots. I am also cursed because I am not going to let something like that go, and if people are being inconsiderate and causing problems, I will call them on it. Which only reminds me that I am, indeed, surrounded by idiots. And that just pisses me off even more.