Category: conversation

Enough Already

Posted on Posted in Children, Choices, conversation, Law, loss, Parenting, PoliticsTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Okay snowflakes and crybullies, enough is enough. It is one thing to protest, you have that right, it is totally different to riot because that crosses the line to illegal activities.

Those windows you broke, the businesses you looted, the cars you destroyed, those belong to someone who works hard for a living. Many of them may have voted for your candidate. In fact, most of them probably did seeing as the areas being looted are in the most liberal cities in the country. How does that help your ’cause’?

All Americans who have been on the opposite side of the results of an election have been disappointed and upset by being on the losing side. But I have yet to see Conservatives tearing up the town to protest their loss. It seems that the majority of them are either too busy working or too busy taking care of family and helping in the community to go out and break things. If they do protest it is by voting or writing a letter to their congressional representatives. It is a futile thing to keep expecting a different outcome from behaving the same way over and over.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr must be turning in his grave to see how people “protest” these days. Dragging a man out of his car and beating him just because he is white and may have voted for Trump, beating a girl at high school because someone in her family voted for Trump (she wasn’t even old enough to vote), beating a 70 some odd man because he shouted All Lives matter and the black woman next to him didn’t like it, all of those are acts of violence. Dr. King was as anti violence as anyone could get. He helped change the world for Black and White people, and this is how you treat his legacy? Really?

To be clear, according to my DNA, I am a multi-race person. I have light skin, light eyes, and silver hair, but I am not just white. Likewise, if you are an American for more than one or two generations, you are probably as mixed race as I am. So that will make you just like me and me just like you. Get over the race thing, it is immature and self defeating. No one respects a bully, and that is what calling everyone racists is doing, bullying.

Get over yourselves all you millennial snowflakes who melt and swoon at the drop of the use a perfectly decent word. When you grow up and leave your protected safe place at university, you will have to go out into the big bad world and work. Guess what, your boss isn’t going to give a rap about how someone micro insulted you. Put on your big boy or girl britches and grow the hell up. The whole micro aggression thing used to be solved easily on the playground around the age of six. “Sticks and stones may break my bones… or it bounces off of me and sticks to you…” Holy cats people, have you really been so wrapped in cotton wool and protected by your helicopter parents that you can’t cope with someone saying something without taking it as an insult or becoming a sobbing mess?

I have noticed, however, that the most easily offended snowflake or crybully is often the first to start screaming invectives and socially unacceptable verbiage as soon as they have two or more bullies at their back. Having a conversation is not allowed due to their allergy to their self perceived micro aggression. Instead, they start throwing things and becoming unmanufactured in the most vicious way possible. Then they whine about racists, sexists, homophobic, people who don’t understand them. Well gee whiz, Wally, get a grip, no one is required to agree with or understand your snit fit.

I am old, to most of you snowflakes, ancient. I don’t agree one whit with the whole concept of safe places, binky, and blanket nonsense that you demand like a bunch of spoiled two year old brats. If you are considered an adult, act like one. Otherwise, go to your safe place and suck your thumb until you can act like one. Enough enough, it is time to get over yourselves.

Stop Saying That!

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Faith, Habits, Parenting, ReligionTagged , , , 1 Comment

I was sitting in a café having breakfast this morning when a gaggle of 20ish to 40ish women came in and sat down at the table behind me. They were talking loud and being a bit obnoxious, but I tried to ignore them and read my book while eating breakfast. Soon, however, it became impossible to concentrate because they were talking over each other, squealing, and generally trying to out talk each other. One phrase kept coming up, over and over and over…. “Oh My G-d.” It was used so often I actually started counting the number of times I heard it. In a 25 minute stretch, it was said 44 times by different females, with different vocal expressions. It was used to convey everything from awe to anger, to agreement, to disappointment. It was, quite frankly, annoying beyond words.

I guess that three word phrase is today’s equivalent of earlier generations catch words such as like, you know, just too…whatever. And it is designed to make whomever utters it sound like some empty headed wannabe (another catch word) who has no idea how to make a cogent remark of exclamation.

However, the reason this constant utterance of Oh my G-d bothers me so much is that it seems, well, offensive to those who are Christians. I was taught that to use the word G-d in casual language, or even more so, as part of a swear word, was highly offensive to the Divine. When one calls His name, one is asking for His attention. We say in in reverence and supplication in prayer, we say it in times of dire need for direction or help, we call upon Him in rejoicing and thanks, but we do not simply use His name as an expletive or common exclamation of surprise or shock.

I always remember the prayer of Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane when he calls out in spiritual agony, “My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46, KJV) That is the standard of emotional being that would result in the need to cry out to the Father in such a way. Not just because someone has spoken about a juicy bit of gossip, and everyone responds with equally juicy surprise and avid curiosity for the speaker to tell more.

I recently had an bit of a verbal discussion with a woman who was allowing her children to jump off a retaining wall into a very busy car park. At least I thought she was allowing it. She had her face buried in her phone text messaging. Three other adults asked the children not to jump off the wall because they could get hurt as there was so much traffic. Finally, after the children ignored everyone, I asked where their mother was. They pointed her out. I walked over and told her that her children were in danger of being hit by cars since they kept jumping into traffic, and if she didn’t get off her damned phone, I was going to call the police and let them sort her out. She looked up at me in surprise and said it was none of my business what her children did. I told her it certainly was if I ran over one of them when they ran out in front of me. I calmly started to dial the emergency number, but before I hit send, she screamed, Oh My G-d, what the hell are you doing? I told her, I don’t know what He is doing other than keeping your kids alive, because you are too busy playing on your phone to pay attention to your children. I, however, am trying to get you to be a responsible mother. Then she upped the ante with Oh my F-ing G-d. I responded with the comment that the as far as I knew sex had nothing to do with the conception of Jesus Christ, and the Divine probably wouldn’t have sex with her no matter how much she begged. She threw her hands in the air and stomped off to her car, only remembering to call her children when she was half way there. When I passed her car, she was still texting. And probably using the OMG comment every two seconds. Some times sarcasm is just too intelligent for people to understand.

My point, however, is this. There are many of us who find the causal used of the name of the Divine in common vernacular, to be offensive and rude. Please, just stop and find a better way of expressing yourselves. To me it is just as offensive as being called the N word is to black people. Remember, when you use the word G-d you are asking for the attention of the Father. And if you add the word damn to the first word, you are asking Him to bring damnation down on someone. He probably won’t, but asking him to might bring you more attention that you would care for when you get to the other side. I don’t know about you, but taking on a deity is not my idea of smart.

Demi-gods and Freedom

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Faith, Family, Freedom, History, Law, Politics, ReligionTagged , , , , , Leave a comment

I believe that everyone has the right to all the freedoms of the land. Because I am an American, I hold those freedoms in great honor. We are a nation built on independent men and women who braved the world and stood fast in their determination to be free in thought, religion, speech, and to do what they must to be happy. To always be forced to put society before one’s family, one’s God, and one’s independence is an abomination to most Americans. Society works because there are laws and checks and balances between the members of that society. It has nothing to do with allowing a government to force the mental enslavement of a people just because whomever is in power thinks they have the right to force others to bend to their will. Therein lies the demi-gods. It is when people are free to choose, to think for themselves, that they are at their best.

Take a look at the so called Dear Leader of North Korea. His country is supposed to be first, but he has turned into an evil tyrant because there are NO checks and balances on his behavior. He is a true sociopath whose evil knows no bounds. Were his people free to refuse to obey him, he would have long since been executed for the killer that he is. It is not all that different from what Hitler did to Germany, only his victims were Jews, Catholic Priests and nuns, homosexuals, gypsy, and anyone that he felt was sub-human. Negating the individual in favor of the society always leaves the leader of that society free to do what ever he or she wishes. All their personal hatred for a person or persons can be indulged in the most inhumane way possible. And of course, those in power will do their best to stay in power in order to control their world.

Without freedom, people have nothing but slavery to the system. Socialism, Communism, Dictatorships, all remove the individual from the formula that creates a robust society. In time, the people give up, stop trying, stop thinking for themselves, and simply plod along through life without hope of a better future. At the expense of independent freedoms, no one will ever be able to become more than what their society allows. That is why so many countries without freedom become third world countries in a few generations. Look at Cuba, and even Russia. (Russian people outside of the larger cities, and even within many of them live third world lives.) Those in power have all the money and riches, not the people. And people certainly don’t have the freedom to find a way to make more or do more unless they do it illegally.

Growth in humanity and their society happens when the individual takes the future into his or her own hands and makes something more from it. Scientist, medicine, flight, inventions, all sorts of new and impressive life saving inventions, including transportation and roads, have happened because people were free to imagine, dream, and then create what comes from that ability to dream. It is the independent individual businessman who comes up with a new idea or way to do something and then makes it available to the entire world that becomes wealthy, not the leaders or government in charge who hordes the inventions and ideas of the people and keep them for the elite or government – or even sell them at a profit and keep the money for themselves.

Because the United States is built on a unique platform of a republic, and because our country was founded by religious fanatics, criminals, and those desperate for a new start, or at least a chance at success, we have a mix of robust, determined, hard headed people who are drenched in common sense, and a dedication to individuality. It is the elite of the decidedly liberal progressive academia who want to “fundamentally change” that which is sacred to the American people. Steeped in self loathing clothed in the rhetoric of high minded tripe, they seek to tear down that which they cannot understand. It is they who must be the leaders, because they know best. It is they who must have and keep the wealth, because the sub-humans around them simply do not have the ability to understand what is best for them. All people, no matter who or what they are, happen to fall beneath their sanctimonious and bitter idea of leadership. In short, they want us to be China, Russia, or North Korea instead of the great country we were, we are, and will be.

I can pretty much guarantee another civil war if the progressive liberals keep pressing to change our fundamental and sacred rights as citizens of the United States of America. Progressive Leftists like Hilary Clinton and her ilk, have, indeed awakened a sleeping giant. Other than the elite academia, the actors from Hollywood, and those under their thrall, most of us in this country still believe and stand firm in the Constitution of the United States of America, and always will.

Boys To Men

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One of my pet peeves is seeing people be upset when boys are being, well, boys. I was a Cub Scout Leader for 13 years. I ran day camps for up to 300 eight, nine, and ten year old boys every summer for eight of those years. I loved every minute of it, even when I heard the same silly or gross joke for the umptheenth time, or had to separate to boys who were having their version of a pissing contest for dominance over the group. That was back when boys were in training to be men. Back before the marginalization of boys by the matriarchal society led by the progressive liberals and the out of step feminists, and it was no longer politically correct for boys to be boys.

My husband ran across this from PJTV. http://www.pjtv.com/series/war-on-men-how-masculinity-is-under-attack-in-america-832/boyhood-under-attack-why-boys-cant-just-be-boys-anymore-10924/

He pointed out that,” Today, Tom Sawyer would be in ADHD therapy, and Huck Finn would be in Juvenile Prison.” Today, boys aren’t allowed to ride bikes without helmets and protective gear. Had I tried to force that on my boys, they would have been outraged because I obviously thought they were too inept to ride a bike without hurting themselves. We, as a nation, have made it nearly impossible for boys to become men, living and growing from their natural inclinations and behavior that is embedded in their DNA.

Because boys are loud, dirty, smelly, and politically incorrect; because they run, make noise, climb, pick up gross things like worms, and they fight with each other our society of fearful mothers and fathers are trying to force boys to be something they are not. All of that is genetically part of being male and teaches them how to be hunters, fearless, curious, and innovative thinkers. It also establishes a pecking order that is vital in a hunter/gatherer community. Of which, we are still very much a part. We just hunt and gather different things today. (And the chief is your boss.) BUT all of that natural male inclination is politically incorrect in today’s matriarchal society in modern western countries.

So, to fit in, to keep from embarrassing their community or family, their NATURAL male instincts are cut from their lives, and they are forced into more feminine behavior, along with brain washing that being male is a bad thing. Enslaving the minds and bodies into unnatural behavior makes them act out more. The easiest way to control them is to label them with some sort of disability and drug it away. Along with being unable to just be kids, they ‘lesson and sport’ kids from the time they are five or less. No kid needs to be in ballet at three, no kid needs to be on a team at five. They first need to learn how to play and work together on their own, to create their own social group without helicopter mommy and daddy making sure their darling child is treated fairly. (That means better than others in PC lingo.) We do them no favors by removing them from the natural rhythm of play and forcing them into the unnatural world of competitive passive aggressive sports or lessons. All it does is place more stress in their already submerged and trampled maleness.

Playgrounds are no longer mayhem. No kids running around playing and yelling, no foot races, or natural male competition is allowed. Instead, everything is organized and ‘fair’ (gag) and no one learns to be a leader, problem solver, or how to create relationships. Everything is a passive aggressive competition since out right competition is forbidden as someone has to lose. Yep, we are making our boys weak, immature, and incapable of being men with all their natural abilities. That is how we end up with confused metrosexual guys who aren’t sure what they are, male/female/straight/gay or human.

By labeling everyone with a disability, the kids who really are having problems and really need help are pretty much marginalized and shoved to the back of the line. Besides, don’t you know it is the IN thing to have a kid with a disability? Everyone is trying to get that diagnosis so they have an excuse for why their kids, male or female, is out of control. Personally, I believe that most of those kids just need attention at home, and the occasional kick in the pants for bad behavior, oh, and taught some manners. Parents need to parent and stop being afraid of what the social group they hang out with will think.

And another thing, since I am already on a rant. We need to stop forcing our children to play together when they don’t like each other. If they don’t want to share their toys, especially with a kid they don’t like, stop making them. All it does is to teach them to be confused about their feelings, and to see themselves as the ‘mean or bad’ kid since they are being politically incorrect. I loathe hearing parents to tell their children to ‘play nice’ when they need to be telling them to have fun. As adults it is hard to deal with social situations with people we can’t stand, to force that on a child is beyond cruel.

Another reason so many boys are labeled disabled and on drugs is because it makes easier to control an over crowded classroom of 35 kids. If the kids are drugged, they aren’t a problem for the teachers who are free to teach regurgitative education for the purpose of state tests. There is no need to expect the kids to think, theorize, innovate, or invent, because they are too drugged up to care. Some teachers love that because that means they can meet the goals set out for them with less pressure from the powers that be.

So where does that leave us when they become teenagers who have been given powerful behavior altering medication for years? What happens when they become young men with the natural behavior of males totally squashed and unrealistic social behavior forced on them? It leaves many of them unable to cope with anything.

Aggression is frowned upon, although there is a constant need to prove themselves. Boys turning into men aren’t supposed to be gross and rowdy, they are supposed to be caring and emotional, you know, like girls. That isn’t to say they aren’t caring, but they do not go about it the same as a female. They think differently, and no amount of constant belittling of their maleness will make them think like a woman – they have hardwired DNA.

Where does that leave us? With kids who are used to being drugged up, and incapable of understanding how to cope with feelings and needs. So they self medicate with alcohol or other drugs. They act out in rage that they don’t understand because they have been told from birth that they cannot be angry. It is bad to be angry. To give into anger makes them a bad kid. Instead of having their entire childhood to learn how to cope with emotions and anger, they are taught to deny their feelings. Men, boys, males of all sorts need to have that challenge of other males. They need to have that opportunity to learn how to build a social group that works for them within the boundaries of being a guy among a bunch of other guys. They need that chance to be gross, smelly, dirty, and loud. They need to learn to be men by being boys first.

OK, off my soap box

And so…

Posted on Posted in Children, conversation, English Grammar, ParentingTagged , , , Leave a comment

The word ‘and’ along with the word ‘so’ are both conjunctions in English grammar. There are many sites on line that explain the use of conjunctions in a proper sentence and their placement in the sentence structure. They are important, along with many other words used to connect thoughts, ideas, actions, and sentences. However, there is a trend in the written and spoken English language of today that drives me batty. That is the use of “and so” as a conjunction or continuation of a conversation. “Jen and I went to the market but I forgot my wallet. And so, she went back to the house to find it for me.” arrrrhhhhggghhhh!!! The proper use would be: “So she went back to the house to find it for me.” Why in the world does anyone need to place the conjunction ‘and’ in front of the conjunction “so?”

I over hear a lot of conversations where one person is telling a story or about an event, and to continue from one part to another, they use ‘and so’ to get there. “Toni tells me that she is never going to give up on that idiot boyfriend of hers, and so I told her that she deserved what she got then. And so, she gets all up in my face and starts yelling about how rotten a friend I was. Whatever, girl, I said, and so I left before it got ugly.” aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!!!

What the hell are they teaching in schools these days? Certainly not proper grammar or sentence structure. In fact, I think they are doing their best to dumb down the entire subject of grammar to replace it with text speech and spelling. I may go ballistic.

If you see an odd light in the sky followed by an explosion, it will be me finally losing control over poor grammar and the inability of young people to speak and write properly.

Diagram this for me. And so we went home. Where does the punctuation belong? What is the conjunction ‘and’ connecting with so? Is it And so, we went home? Or is it, And, so, we went home? Or is it, And, so went home? Is any of that proper grammar, and can you make a sentence diagram from the comment?

Yes, it makes me crazy, as it would most English Teachers.

It Isn’t A Tragedy

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Friendship, WomenTagged , , , , , , , 2 Comments

I over heard a conversation this morning between two women. It left me a bit gobsmacked and annoyed. It seems these two women have a mutual friend who had a kidney transplant via a relative. One woman said it was such a tragedy that their friend had to have a transplant. They went on to talk about how everyone needed to make allowances for her erratic behavior, and that she should be treated carefully as she recovered. After all, with someone else’s kidney in her she would never be normal.

I thought, “Tragedy?’ Not to me, it isn’t. That woman will live a long healthy life, she is not an invalid, she is not helpless, she is the product of the miracle of medicine and blessings. How can that be a tragedy? They acted as if having any transplant was something no one would ever want. What?

Tragedy is something that cannot be controlled, stopped, or overcome resulting in either an end of a life or constituting a complete change in circumstances for a survivor. Tragedy is losing a new mom to childbirth. Tragedy is a child with incurable cancer. Tragedy is a wounded warrior who has lost limbs, sight, ability to walk, or suffers brain damage or mental illness from serving in the war. Tragedy is a teenager committing suicide. Tragedy is a plane crash that kills 300 people. Tragedy is an old person freezing to death. Tragedy is the mentally ill on the streets of the country when they belong in a safe institution where they can be cared for, instead of suffering the effects of cold and heat, and the lack of food. Tragedy is losing someone to addiction to drugs or alcohol. Tragedy is having a funeral for a twenty year old girl whose death was sudden and unexpected. Surviving a kidney transplant is not a tragedy! It is, instead, an opportunity to celebrate a new and continued life!

What those well meaning women are doing is placing their friend in a box labeled perpetual victim. In pandering to her, giving her excuses for bad behavior, and creating a tragic attitude around her, they are making her weak, mentally, physically, and emotionally. In refusing to celebrate the miracle that her life is, they want to demean it. That isn’t friendship, that is an attitude of superiority. “Poor little thing, she will never reach her full potential,” one of them stated. The other agreeing and doing the Southern thing when faced with perceived tragedy, shaking her head, and murmuring, “Bless her heart.”

I don’t get it. I really don’t understand their attitude, especially treating her as if she is fragile and unable to cope with surviving. She isn’t one bit more special than anyone who has survived a horrific illness. Instead of encouraging her to be helpless, they need to stand behind and beside her as she moves forward into a strong, healthy life. Instead of lowering their expectations for her life, they should be the best of cheerleaders, celebrating each and every milestone in her recovery. And, the last thing they need to be doing is enabling helplessness. I repeat, she is not an invalid. The only tragedy in her life is that her friends see her as a victim who will never be normal instead of a survivor.

The Fat Lady Needs To Exit Stage Right, Now!

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Over the past four years, I have lost 168 pounds and change. Yes, I feel better, have more energy, look better, and enjoy my grandchildren more. However there are a few drawbacks that never occurred to me before hand.

Skin. Losing weight, even as slowly as I have, leaves a lot of saggy, ugly, rumply skin. Bat wings for upper arms, skin that sags down from thighs to knees, and it just keeps on going long after I stop moving. Totally gross, totally embarrassing. And wrinkles are much more prominent too. I always had a smooth face, now I have wrinkles that I never had before. The upside is I look a lot thinner, the down side is learning a whole new way to apply makeup – when I bother that is.

Clothes. For years, like most fat women, I tried to hide my weight in baggy clothes, ugly dresses, and lots of jeans and t-shirts. Underwear was pretty much limited to grannie panties, and because I am rather well endowed up top, very boring super strong support white bras. Now, I nearly have a panic attack when I go into a store to buy clothes. I have gone from a size 28-30 in Women’s (that means fat lady clothes in girl code) to a size 14-16. But because I still have the well endowed parts to contend with, I get a larger size top. I don’t like tight clothing, it generally shows every lump and bump, cellulite, and muffin top on a fat lady. But, I find if I get looser clothes, they fall off me, which can be horribly humiliating if it happens in public. Oh, and shoes. Did you know that when you lose a lot of weight your shoe size gets smaller? Neither did I, but I have had to replace a large portion of my shoes lately. I’ve gone from a 8.5 Wide to a size 7 average. How freaky is that?

Temperature. I have long passed menopause, but temperature change really causes me issues. If it is cold, I freeze when the same temperature in my fat lady stage didn’t bother me at all, because I was always too warm. I forget about that and pay for it by shivering constantly. Wind also has an effect on me. I used to relish the cool wind, not so much now. Besides, I actually got pushed hard enough to almost fall the other day. I am so used to being sturdy enough to stand up to anything up to about 40 miles an hour winds. Now I just feel cold and like a wimp. Heat still makes me miserable. I hate hot and humid climates, but I don’t get miserable as fast as I used to, and can actually stand hotter weather than before.

Hair. I have always had rather thin hair. Now, because I am healthier, stronger, and I actually take my meds and vitamins every day, my hair is thicker. So I have had to learn to change my whole regime while washing my hair. It is hard to break a habit of over 30 years. I keep heading for my old shampoo and conditioner when I simply do not need that brand any longer. It is, well, annoying to have a routine totally changed.

Food. I didn’t have surgery to lose weight. I became very, very ill. Even the doctors didn’t think I would pull through. Fooled them. Wasn’t my time yet. Anyway, I used to crave sweets, sodas, carbohydrates, and fatty foods. I could eat a full meal at any restaurant in America. I was always hungry, and I used food as my drug of choice to cope with life. Now, food – eh – whatever. I don’t often eat every day, and I rarely have more than one meal a day. I make it a policy to eat only half of what is on my plate when we go out to dinner. Because half of a serving is a bit more than a serving for one person should be. The standard meal is FAR too much. At least it is using American sized servings.

Attitude and Mood Swings. I have never been so easily angered as I am now. Part of that is hormonal because everything is still out of whack. But a lot of it has to do with my attitude. While I have never been one to be a door mat, I would often allow my feelings about being fat make me want to stay in the background and unnoticed. Today, I am pretty much one of those old ladies who says what she thinks and devil take the hindmost. Whereas, I used to stay quiet, I am now more than willing to debate and do verbal battle with those who oppose my stance on everything from politics to dealing with bratty kids. So, on one hand, I am dealing with moodiness, and on the other I am dealing with trying to shut the hell up and stay out of trouble. Not doing too well on either issue.

The up side to weight loss is better health, the downside is that my entire lifestyle had to change and catch up with my body changes. I sometimes don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I sometimes think that I am fooling no one, and the fat lady still resides in my mirror and every one knows it but me. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the way everything changed and continues to change as I keep losing weight.

I guess, because I can spot a phony a mile away, and because I don’t suffer fools gladly, that I tend to step back from every compliment. Like most fat ladies, people would compliment me on my eyes, color of my clothes, hair, but never say I was pretty. Now, folks do say I am pretty, but the fat lady hasn’t sung and exited stage right just yet. I really wish she would shut the hell up so I can get on with who I am becoming. Hateful cow.

Valentine’s Day Morons.

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, ParentingTagged 2 Comments

Most old people say, “Kids today,” then add something along the lines of how WE never behaved in such and such a way. I always told myself I wouldn’t do that. I lied.

I was in Wally World this afternoon because we were out of milk and a few essentials. As I was walking down the main aisle, two boys between 10 and 12 ran out of a side aisle and nearly knocked my shopping cart over.

After making sure no one was hurt, I told them in my teacher voice, “Guys, this isn’t a playground and not a place to be running like that. Especially since it is so crowded.” They glared at me. No apology, nothing as they kept right on running.

Their mother came up to me, all puffed up like a ticked off hen, she said, “ How dare you discipline MY SONS! They are just being kids! You have no right to correct them, or say anything about their behavior. I am their mother, that is my job.”

Inside I was really pissed off. But I calmly said, “Well then, honey, you ought to act like a mother and teach them how to behave in public and teach them some manners while you are at it.” OK, snarky, but heck, I didn’t even raise my voice to the brats. Geesh!

The woman got right in my face, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” “Oh,” I returned, “Not only are you a miserable failure as a mother, you are also hard of hearing if you have to shout at people. Or, perhaps, I used words that were too large for your limited vocabulary.” Still keeping calm outwardly, I was seething inside. Several people gasped at my comment, several more snickered, and a few laughed right out loud. Sarcasm, in the South, is best served by using a sweet, bless your heart, voice.

About that time, one of her kids came running back, and hid behind the old hen. Right behind him came the security guys. I made eye contact with another mother, and she just rolled her eyes. I didn’t stick around to find out what happened, but for security to chase him down he probably did something bad enough to get into big trouble. If his mother didn’t try to protect him, that is.

Why is it that parents are so afraid to parent their children? What happened to teaching kids basic manners, correct behavior for the situation, place and time? When did it become acceptable to get in an elders face and and scream at them when they simply ask kids to stop running before they get hurt? Maybe it is because I am old, or maybe it is because I was taught by parents who could put the fear of God in me when I acted up, but honestly, if I had ever behaved that way, not only would my mother warm my bottom up, I would get a lecture from my dad that would make me cringe. Those kids will probably have a car accident – heaven help other drivers – and even if they killed someone, she would make excuses for their behavior. Not their fault, after all, they are just kids being kids. Gag a maggot that excuse really ticks me off!

So, after fighting my way to the check out area, I got in a long line just like everyone else. As I stand there, the twenty-five-ish woman in front of me was picking up magazines and flipping through them. Putting them back in the wrong places, and every time the cart in front of her moved, she just stood there flipping through the magazines. Meanwhile, the distance between her and the cart in front of her was getting larger, large enough for someone to ask if she was still in line. She got a bit huffy, but moved up. Then started all over again.

I asked her if she wouldn’t mind moving along, as people were waiting to check out. “Besides,” I told her, “if you want to look at the magazines, perhaps you should buy them and read them at home.” “I ain’t gonna buy this $h*t, I just wanna look at ’em.”

“What are you, ten years old, little kids flip through comic books like that. A grown woman would at least have the common sense to put them back where they found them, or have the decency to actually purchase them. And keep up with what is going on around her, so not to delay everyone with her childish behavior.” I got an eye roll, and she told me to go do something totally impossible. I laughed and did my standard, “Sorry honey, I don’t roll that way, but its nice to know that you fancy me.” So she called me a female dog, and I thanked her for noticing. She was next in line and started throwing her stuff on the moving belt, fuming. She was still holding one of the gossip rags, and when the clerk asked if she wanted to purchase that, she slammed it back into the holder and nearly took the clerk’s head off with the glare she threw at her. Couldn’t help myself, I snickered, and rolled my eyes.

So, finished with Wally World, we headed to Sam’s to get diapers and such. I was wandering about looking at summer clothes and sales for Addie. I came around one rack, and a woman cut me off and got ahead of me. “Eh, so what,” I thought. But the woman just stopped right in the middle of the aisle, and started looking at those trousers all the little girls are wearing with the ruffles on the bottom of the legs. I think they look like clown clothes. But,I digress.

I waited patiently, I couldn’t get around her or her basket unless one of them moved. I finally asked her to let me by. She gave me the most hateful look, and ignored me. I waited another five minutes, by my watch. I couldn’t back up and turn around, there were people behind me. So I asked her to let me by again. She glared again and proceeded to ignore me AND the folks behind me. Eye contact and eye rolls were exchanged between us. I figured that if she could be that rude, I would serve hear a slice of her own hateful pie.

I reached out, took hold of her cart and pushed it out of my way, and moved in front of her. Again, with the swearing and the F word and the female dog word. I stopped, looked her dead in the eye, “If you insist on acting as if your are mentally disable or so ignorant that you don’t recognize a polite request to get your fat ass out of the way so others can get past you, then you should expect to be treated just as rudely in return.” Again, with the female dog word. “Thanks for noticing, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I am a push over or a door mat.” Again, I was told to go, well you know what, myself. “Nice language coming from a woman your age. Didn’t you go to school, read a book, or learn how to speak like a proper grown up person?”

They guy behind me walked past and leaned over to me. “Ma’am, there are just some people who ain’t got the sense God gave a tree, and they are stunted from growing in the wrong place. She can’t help it that she is stupid and rude, she don’t know no better.” Before I could come back with a response, she told him to do the same thing she told me. “Are you offering, sweetheart?” I thought she was going to turn inside out with indignation. She grabbed her cart and stomped off in a huff. “Hey,” the guy called after her, “Don’t go away mad, just go away, far far away to the land of the hateful.” I lost it and started laughing. “Good one.” He winked at me, shook my hand, and we both went our own way.

Must have been my day to deal with stupid people. Gotta love it that the guy got my sarcasm, most don’t. Oh, and the kicker is that he had to be at least 70 plus. Overweight, and not a pretty sight, he was sharp as a tack, and dead on right about people like that woman.

Too bad I don’t drink booze, I could use a glass of wine about now. Happy Valentine’s Day. everyone.Greetings

Really?

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Women

The shopping frenzy is escalating exponentially as we get closer to Christmas Day. Stress is starting to show amid those who are still trying to buy, build, make, get, gifts ready for the big day. I realize how difficult it is not to stress out, but why do people feel they have to take it out on the person who happens to be manning the cash register?

In line at Wally World today, a woman in the next check out lane started complaining loud and long about how stupid it was that they didn’t have more lanes open, and that it was annoying how slow the checkers were. One of the people directing traffic to different lanes told her that the self check was available and that there was no waiting. To my dismay she turned on that woman and told her, “I EXPECT to be waited on when I come into a store. I EXPECT that someone will check my items, and I will pay a PERSON not a machine!”

Wow! Nice, not! Merry Christmas to you too, you hateful cow!

The woman kept her cool, and apologized that the cow had to wait, but that there was nothing she could do, as people were checked out on a first come, first serve basis unless they used the self check out. This was a busy time and the next few days would be crowded in most stores. The cow still huffed and puffed, complaining under her breath.

All those around me, including me, just stared at her in disbelief. Making eye contact with one another, we all seemed to be thinking, “Really?” Shaking our heads and trying to ignore the oozing anger around the woman, most everyone got on with their business. Finally, the woman was at the register and ready to pay. She said to the girl at the register, “I would wish you a Merry Christmas, but I really don’t care if you have one or not.” The poor girl nearly cried, but she just wished the woman a good day.

Say what you will about low payed employees, but the women at Wally World were gracious even in the face of insults and mistreatment by the very person they served. At the end of the day, that hateful cow will have a miserable Christmas, while each of those she abused will be blessed in one way or another for turning the other cheek.

I admire that, I really do, I simply do not have the kindness gene in my DNA. It took all I had not to tell that woman off, but it wasn’t my place to do so. Besides, I didn’t want to end up in trouble right before my son and grandchildren got here. So, I let it go, but you know, it really bothers me. So from now on, I will do my level best to be polite to all those who serve me in any way, even the surly cashier at the local gas station.

That Bugs Me

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Friendship, HabitsLeave a comment

For the past few weeks, I have seen a commercial on television, that, over time, has come to really annoy me on several levels. It is for the Xfinity programs on cable. In the commercial, a mid twentiesish guy is trying to move house. He calls up his friends, and one by one they either lie to him, ignore him, or simply tell him no when he asks for help. The only person who “helps” is the lady on Xfinity who sets him up with all he needs for his new place. Cable, Internet, etc. is easily moved for him. In the last scene, the guy is sitting all alone, in his new place, he (it is assumed) moved all his stuff into it by himself watching television. No friends in sight.

It bugs me because friends are supposed to help friends. I can’t count the number of times we helped people pack and move. We have hauled sofas that weighed more than a small car, furniture of all shapes and sizes, clothes, dishes, even pets. We moved people in everything from our small Datsun station wagon to huge moving trucks. We, ourselves, have moved so often over the past 40 years, that I am a master at packing and hauling stuff. Everyone pitched in to help as soon as the word went out that help was needed. Generally pizza or Chinese takeaway was provided for the friends and family who showed up and pitched in.

So, what the heck is wrong with those twenty-ish kids who won’t help their friend move? One is at the beach and pretending to be at the office. One is shopping and pretends to be sick. One is playing video games and doesn’t even answer the call, and one just flat out refuses to help. Talk about selfish and self centered! If all those people had jumped in, the moving process would probably have taken less than a day. (We all know that no one ever fully unpacks boxes, we have some that are still taped shut from our move from Hong Kong.) But these, kids just can’t be bothered.

It makes me crazy to see someone need help and no one steps up. When I took Hal to the Urgent Care clinic a few weeks ago, there was a woman in there with a child about three. He was miserably sick, and constantly whining. He wanted to be held, but only if his mom was standing up. He was breaking into a full blown hissy fit, when I finally stepped up and asked the frazzled and frustrated mom if she needed some help. Her jaw dropped, then she stepped back and said, “If you have a miracle, go ahead.” I put on my MOM HAS HAD ENOUGH face, crossed my arms, walked over to the boy and cleared my throat. When he was looking at me, all I said was his name. In a calm, but firm voice. The tears shut off, he ran behind his mother and grabbed her skirt. We heard him in the exam room later when he got a shot. But, for the meantime, he stopped, the mom was thankful, and I could hear myself think again. That mom needed HELP. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, and right at the end of her patience.

I don’t know if I am odd, or what, but I am always offering to help people. Most of the time, they thank me and tell me no, but sometimes they are very grateful someone noticed their need. I sure as heck don’t see that much in the younger set. If they won’t help their friends, they sure as heck won’t help a stranger. Although, having said that, I do live in the South, where manners are vital in social behavior. I am not above asking some tall kid to get something off a shelf for me in the grocery or in a store. And I always thank them.

Last weekend, Hal and I took Addie out for breakfast (becoming a tradition for us now that she is old enough). As I was leaving the restaurant, I fell. Hard. I no sooner hit the ground than I had three guys trying to help me up. Poor Hal had his arms full with Addie, and could only stand there. I was so shaken, that had folks not gathered up my glasses and handbag, I probably would have walked off without them. (I broke my right foot, banged up my bad knee, skinned up my forehead and elbow, and felt like a fool for falling.) After thanking them all, I made my way to the truck and managed to climb in. Some how, I don’t see folks jumping to help others in big cities. They all just whip out their cell phones and start taking photos or filming. I guess people are used to viewing life through a screen. And that really bugs me.

So, I am going to write a letter to Xfinity and tell them they would do people a service by showing everyone agreeing to help the guy move. And to be honest that the darned service guy will be there sometime between Monday and Friday between the hours of nine a.m. and four p.m. Because that bugs me too.