Tag: conversation

Stop Saying That!

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Faith, Habits, Parenting, ReligionTagged , , , 1 Comment

I was sitting in a café having breakfast this morning when a gaggle of 20ish to 40ish women came in and sat down at the table behind me. They were talking loud and being a bit obnoxious, but I tried to ignore them and read my book while eating breakfast. Soon, however, it became impossible to concentrate because they were talking over each other, squealing, and generally trying to out talk each other. One phrase kept coming up, over and over and over…. “Oh My G-d.” It was used so often I actually started counting the number of times I heard it. In a 25 minute stretch, it was said 44 times by different females, with different vocal expressions. It was used to convey everything from awe to anger, to agreement, to disappointment. It was, quite frankly, annoying beyond words.

I guess that three word phrase is today’s equivalent of earlier generations catch words such as like, you know, just too…whatever. And it is designed to make whomever utters it sound like some empty headed wannabe (another catch word) who has no idea how to make a cogent remark of exclamation.

However, the reason this constant utterance of Oh my G-d bothers me so much is that it seems, well, offensive to those who are Christians. I was taught that to use the word G-d in casual language, or even more so, as part of a swear word, was highly offensive to the Divine. When one calls His name, one is asking for His attention. We say in in reverence and supplication in prayer, we say it in times of dire need for direction or help, we call upon Him in rejoicing and thanks, but we do not simply use His name as an expletive or common exclamation of surprise or shock.

I always remember the prayer of Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane when he calls out in spiritual agony, “My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46, KJV) That is the standard of emotional being that would result in the need to cry out to the Father in such a way. Not just because someone has spoken about a juicy bit of gossip, and everyone responds with equally juicy surprise and avid curiosity for the speaker to tell more.

I recently had an bit of a verbal discussion with a woman who was allowing her children to jump off a retaining wall into a very busy car park. At least I thought she was allowing it. She had her face buried in her phone text messaging. Three other adults asked the children not to jump off the wall because they could get hurt as there was so much traffic. Finally, after the children ignored everyone, I asked where their mother was. They pointed her out. I walked over and told her that her children were in danger of being hit by cars since they kept jumping into traffic, and if she didn’t get off her damned phone, I was going to call the police and let them sort her out. She looked up at me in surprise and said it was none of my business what her children did. I told her it certainly was if I ran over one of them when they ran out in front of me. I calmly started to dial the emergency number, but before I hit send, she screamed, Oh My G-d, what the hell are you doing? I told her, I don’t know what He is doing other than keeping your kids alive, because you are too busy playing on your phone to pay attention to your children. I, however, am trying to get you to be a responsible mother. Then she upped the ante with Oh my F-ing G-d. I responded with the comment that the as far as I knew sex had nothing to do with the conception of Jesus Christ, and the Divine probably wouldn’t have sex with her no matter how much she begged. She threw her hands in the air and stomped off to her car, only remembering to call her children when she was half way there. When I passed her car, she was still texting. And probably using the OMG comment every two seconds. Some times sarcasm is just too intelligent for people to understand.

My point, however, is this. There are many of us who find the causal used of the name of the Divine in common vernacular, to be offensive and rude. Please, just stop and find a better way of expressing yourselves. To me it is just as offensive as being called the N word is to black people. Remember, when you use the word G-d you are asking for the attention of the Father. And if you add the word damn to the first word, you are asking Him to bring damnation down on someone. He probably won’t, but asking him to might bring you more attention that you would care for when you get to the other side. I don’t know about you, but taking on a deity is not my idea of smart.

Prejudice, Choice, Preference

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Recently, I had a rather heated discussion with someone concerning racism. Which is, as we all know, a form of prejudice. It is my opinion that prejudice is part of most cultures and is definitely rampant amongst certain social groups. The definition of the word prejudice [prej-uh-dis] as follows:

Noun:

1. an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

2. any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.

3. unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, or religious group.

4. such attitudes considered collectively: The war against prejudice is never-ending.

5. damage or injury; detriment: a law that operated to the prejudice of the majority.

6. Verb (used with object), prejudiced, prejudicing.

to affect with a prejudice, either favorable or unfavorable: His honesty and sincerity prejudiced us in his favor.

7. Idioms

without prejudice, Law. without dismissing, damaging, or otherwise affecting a legal interest or demand.

(I know, it one is not supposed to use dictionary definitions when trying to make a point, it is a lazy way of doing so. However, there are those who simply haven’t a clue concerning the real meaning of the word, nor do they know how to use it properly in either the written or spoken English/American language.)

So, if prejudice is to prejudge and form an opinion in the negative without knowledge, thought, or reason, does that mean a person prejudges and creates a prejudice that it is a choice based on bogus or non information? No, really, I am serious. Because, quite frankly, I am really tired of being labeled by those who don’t bother to gain knowledge concerning a topic before spouting off and blaming everyone but their own prejudging for all the wrongs in the world.

Is it a prejudice to prefer one particular football team over all others to the total exclusion of other teams, or is it a preference based on knowledge, thought, or reason? Is it a preconceived opinion or feeling that is unreasonable but based within ones social sphere of other fans of that team? Is it a knee jerk emotional reaction to get angry when that team loses, or does one stop and think through the game and realize that the other team was simply better that day? Or, does one get simply want to take the anger out on the coach or a team member in an emotional reaction based on unreasonable feelings? Is it a choice or is it a preference? One based on logic and knowledge, or one base in emotional overload.

Is it prejudice or racism to enjoy a song by a black singer that is also a hit by a singer of another color? Is it choice based on knowledge and understanding of that piece of music, or is it a prejudice against the black singer if you like the other singer better? Choice/preference or prejudice? Do your prefer the non black singer because of your preconceived ideas, or because of hostile feelings toward the person of color, or do you simply happen to like one rendition over the other because it sounds better to you? For instance, I prefer the Bing Crosby rendition of White Christmas, because it reminds me of my childhood and happy times. I don’t dismiss the value of other singers, no matter their background, but I prefer that song for personal reasons. I willingly listen to most other singers and their renditions, but that one will always be my favorite. Does that make me prejudiced toward other singers, or do I have a preference?

When it comes down to it, we all have prejudices about myriad of things, people, issues, and yes, football teams. Some of us are never going to wear Manolo heels, not because we have an issue with Manolo, but because high heels hurt our feet. Logic says, if it hurts, don’t do that again. But, some of us will also not wear products made in places where they keep people working for pennies as virtual slaves because we are against that sort of thing. We are prejudice, however, we are also making a choice based on knowledge and understanding of the suffering of the workers. That fine line between choice and prejudice is only crossed when we, as human beings, take those feelings out on other people because we allow emotion to overcome logic and knowledge of the facts.

It is well known among my friends and unfriends (a few have done so because I won’t back down on certain issues), that I do not bow to white guilt. There are two reasons, first, slavery happened over a century before I was born. I had nothing to do with it therefore I have no guilt over what my ancestors may or may not have done in the past. Second, I was raised in the US Military post Korean War. Therefore, I grew up with, went to school with, engaged with, and befriended children of all colors, cultures, and backgrounds. Living on an Army base, especially overseas, was like living in a special world where everyone just got on with doing what had to be done. There was no time, nor place, for racism, prejudice, or attitudes. Choice or preference, or simply how things were?

Along the lines of refusing to bow to white guilt, I am adamantly opposed to allowing enemies of my country into the United States. Jihadist Islam is not something that we should tolerate in a freedom loving country based on the values and morals within the Constitution and Bill of Rights. The culture and religion of the radical Islamist is exactly opposite of what most Americans believe and they are a threat to our security. Some would say I am a bigot or a racists, and I would be if this opinion was based on knee jerk emotional reactions and not on knowledge, logic, and an understanding of what the jihadist radical islamic people believe and what they want to do to all who do not believe exactly as they do. Ergo, people, it is the JRI who are prejudiced, bigoted, and racist – not I.

However, there are those that believe I should be ashamed of my thoughts, and I should welcome refugees (I use the term loosely here) who hate our country to waltz right in and do as they will. We should bow down to their demands and give them everything they want so they will like us and not hurt us. How did that work out for other countries and cultures in the past? Read your history, it is about to be repeated because people are terrified to stand up and state the obvious after all their social media group will lambaste them into submission by using guilt and passive aggressive attacks. So, is it choice to stand up to the enemies, is it prejudice to want to stop others from taking away our freedom, is it a preference to remain free, or is it simply the way things are?

I don’t care what your skin color may be, or not. I don’t care where you live, or who your social groups are, as long as you aren’t hurting others, cheating others, taking from others without giving back, or using your social groups to make impossible demands so you can remain a child in an adult body.

I don’t demand anything of anyone, I ask that people remember how far we have come from 1864 and how much change was wrought by Martin Luther King and his followers, black and white. (With, of course, the exception of the ambulance chasing rabble rousers like Sharpton, Jackson, and Farrakhan.)

Under the changes that took place during and after the tenure of Dr. King, the world opened up for everyone of color – and changed the world for everyone in the United States. It wasn’t until the radicalized people like the Black Panthers and Malcolm X took over that the peaceful changing world of race acceptance was shattered. It wasn’t until the US government displace fathers in the black communities, thriving black communities by the way, and families fell apart that we began to see the gangs form and violence foment within the broken communities. When Uncle Sam became Daddy Sam, many succumbed to the easy money and gradual erosion of personal accomplishment and pride in a job well done. Things went from “I can do this” to “I deserve this because of my skin color.” Yet even with the violence – mostly black young men killing black young men who have been disenfranchised as valuable to the community – there are those who see past the propaganda and refuse to be yet another government statistic. Bravo for them! It is too bad that those with so much potential become so convinced that they are worthless simply because the government tells them so to keep them on the welfare system. Does that make me prejudiced toward people of color? No, because the facts and knowledge based on information provided by the communities and history of the people themselves provide the logic behind my words. A knee jerk prejudice reaction would be to assume that all people of color are violent, ignorant, and worthless. Kind of like all Democratic senators did after the civil war. And, like Lyndon Johnson and his cronies did after the death of Dr. King. After all, he created the great welfare program resulting in the enslavement of the minds of the black communities.

Before, you go pointing fingers, making assumptions, loudly proclaiming someone a certain label, take a look at how you are behaving. Are you being prejudicial, based on emotion and preconceived ideas planted in your minds by those with an agenda to control you and your thoughts and ideas, or are you making a choice in how you behave based on knowledge, understanding, and facts found within today’s news and yesterday’s history? Are you spouting slogans like parrots forced upon your conscience by repetition of those who are prejudging those who are not like you, or, are you thinking past the hype and searching for the rock bottom truth behind the propaganda? Is it prejudice, choice, or preference? Who is making you point fingers and label others? Is it really you, or is it a feel good reaction to unpleasant truths? Really, I would love to know. Because I am really tired of being called names when I disagree with the popular propaganda machine robots. Really.

Boys To Men

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One of my pet peeves is seeing people be upset when boys are being, well, boys. I was a Cub Scout Leader for 13 years. I ran day camps for up to 300 eight, nine, and ten year old boys every summer for eight of those years. I loved every minute of it, even when I heard the same silly or gross joke for the umptheenth time, or had to separate to boys who were having their version of a pissing contest for dominance over the group. That was back when boys were in training to be men. Back before the marginalization of boys by the matriarchal society led by the progressive liberals and the out of step feminists, and it was no longer politically correct for boys to be boys.

My husband ran across this from PJTV. http://www.pjtv.com/series/war-on-men-how-masculinity-is-under-attack-in-america-832/boyhood-under-attack-why-boys-cant-just-be-boys-anymore-10924/

He pointed out that,” Today, Tom Sawyer would be in ADHD therapy, and Huck Finn would be in Juvenile Prison.” Today, boys aren’t allowed to ride bikes without helmets and protective gear. Had I tried to force that on my boys, they would have been outraged because I obviously thought they were too inept to ride a bike without hurting themselves. We, as a nation, have made it nearly impossible for boys to become men, living and growing from their natural inclinations and behavior that is embedded in their DNA.

Because boys are loud, dirty, smelly, and politically incorrect; because they run, make noise, climb, pick up gross things like worms, and they fight with each other our society of fearful mothers and fathers are trying to force boys to be something they are not. All of that is genetically part of being male and teaches them how to be hunters, fearless, curious, and innovative thinkers. It also establishes a pecking order that is vital in a hunter/gatherer community. Of which, we are still very much a part. We just hunt and gather different things today. (And the chief is your boss.) BUT all of that natural male inclination is politically incorrect in today’s matriarchal society in modern western countries.

So, to fit in, to keep from embarrassing their community or family, their NATURAL male instincts are cut from their lives, and they are forced into more feminine behavior, along with brain washing that being male is a bad thing. Enslaving the minds and bodies into unnatural behavior makes them act out more. The easiest way to control them is to label them with some sort of disability and drug it away. Along with being unable to just be kids, they ‘lesson and sport’ kids from the time they are five or less. No kid needs to be in ballet at three, no kid needs to be on a team at five. They first need to learn how to play and work together on their own, to create their own social group without helicopter mommy and daddy making sure their darling child is treated fairly. (That means better than others in PC lingo.) We do them no favors by removing them from the natural rhythm of play and forcing them into the unnatural world of competitive passive aggressive sports or lessons. All it does is place more stress in their already submerged and trampled maleness.

Playgrounds are no longer mayhem. No kids running around playing and yelling, no foot races, or natural male competition is allowed. Instead, everything is organized and ‘fair’ (gag) and no one learns to be a leader, problem solver, or how to create relationships. Everything is a passive aggressive competition since out right competition is forbidden as someone has to lose. Yep, we are making our boys weak, immature, and incapable of being men with all their natural abilities. That is how we end up with confused metrosexual guys who aren’t sure what they are, male/female/straight/gay or human.

By labeling everyone with a disability, the kids who really are having problems and really need help are pretty much marginalized and shoved to the back of the line. Besides, don’t you know it is the IN thing to have a kid with a disability? Everyone is trying to get that diagnosis so they have an excuse for why their kids, male or female, is out of control. Personally, I believe that most of those kids just need attention at home, and the occasional kick in the pants for bad behavior, oh, and taught some manners. Parents need to parent and stop being afraid of what the social group they hang out with will think.

And another thing, since I am already on a rant. We need to stop forcing our children to play together when they don’t like each other. If they don’t want to share their toys, especially with a kid they don’t like, stop making them. All it does is to teach them to be confused about their feelings, and to see themselves as the ‘mean or bad’ kid since they are being politically incorrect. I loathe hearing parents to tell their children to ‘play nice’ when they need to be telling them to have fun. As adults it is hard to deal with social situations with people we can’t stand, to force that on a child is beyond cruel.

Another reason so many boys are labeled disabled and on drugs is because it makes easier to control an over crowded classroom of 35 kids. If the kids are drugged, they aren’t a problem for the teachers who are free to teach regurgitative education for the purpose of state tests. There is no need to expect the kids to think, theorize, innovate, or invent, because they are too drugged up to care. Some teachers love that because that means they can meet the goals set out for them with less pressure from the powers that be.

So where does that leave us when they become teenagers who have been given powerful behavior altering medication for years? What happens when they become young men with the natural behavior of males totally squashed and unrealistic social behavior forced on them? It leaves many of them unable to cope with anything.

Aggression is frowned upon, although there is a constant need to prove themselves. Boys turning into men aren’t supposed to be gross and rowdy, they are supposed to be caring and emotional, you know, like girls. That isn’t to say they aren’t caring, but they do not go about it the same as a female. They think differently, and no amount of constant belittling of their maleness will make them think like a woman – they have hardwired DNA.

Where does that leave us? With kids who are used to being drugged up, and incapable of understanding how to cope with feelings and needs. So they self medicate with alcohol or other drugs. They act out in rage that they don’t understand because they have been told from birth that they cannot be angry. It is bad to be angry. To give into anger makes them a bad kid. Instead of having their entire childhood to learn how to cope with emotions and anger, they are taught to deny their feelings. Men, boys, males of all sorts need to have that challenge of other males. They need to have that opportunity to learn how to build a social group that works for them within the boundaries of being a guy among a bunch of other guys. They need that chance to be gross, smelly, dirty, and loud. They need to learn to be men by being boys first.

OK, off my soap box

And so…

Posted on Posted in Children, conversation, English Grammar, ParentingTagged , , , Leave a comment

The word ‘and’ along with the word ‘so’ are both conjunctions in English grammar. There are many sites on line that explain the use of conjunctions in a proper sentence and their placement in the sentence structure. They are important, along with many other words used to connect thoughts, ideas, actions, and sentences. However, there is a trend in the written and spoken English language of today that drives me batty. That is the use of “and so” as a conjunction or continuation of a conversation. “Jen and I went to the market but I forgot my wallet. And so, she went back to the house to find it for me.” arrrrhhhhggghhhh!!! The proper use would be: “So she went back to the house to find it for me.” Why in the world does anyone need to place the conjunction ‘and’ in front of the conjunction “so?”

I over hear a lot of conversations where one person is telling a story or about an event, and to continue from one part to another, they use ‘and so’ to get there. “Toni tells me that she is never going to give up on that idiot boyfriend of hers, and so I told her that she deserved what she got then. And so, she gets all up in my face and starts yelling about how rotten a friend I was. Whatever, girl, I said, and so I left before it got ugly.” aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!!!

What the hell are they teaching in schools these days? Certainly not proper grammar or sentence structure. In fact, I think they are doing their best to dumb down the entire subject of grammar to replace it with text speech and spelling. I may go ballistic.

If you see an odd light in the sky followed by an explosion, it will be me finally losing control over poor grammar and the inability of young people to speak and write properly.

Diagram this for me. And so we went home. Where does the punctuation belong? What is the conjunction ‘and’ connecting with so? Is it And so, we went home? Or is it, And, so, we went home? Or is it, And, so went home? Is any of that proper grammar, and can you make a sentence diagram from the comment?

Yes, it makes me crazy, as it would most English Teachers.

Pity Me, Pity Us

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I read this article from Salon by Julia Bount.

http://www.salon.com/2015/04/29/dear_white_facebook_friends_i_need_you_to_respect_what_black_america_is_feeling_right_now/?upw

This is my response:

What a load of pity me, pity us. Because you allow, ALLOW yourselves to be victims, and once you are, you wallow in the whining and refuse to take responsibility for your actions and for the lack of parenting and fathers who stick around to BE fathers.
This is NOT a black and white issue, one of the officers charged is a black Female!! This is a flat out, rabble rousing issue by the likes of the pot head in chief and the likes of Sharpie Sharpton.

Every thing on that pity me list screams victim.

I hear hopelessness

Not just a black issue. Poor people all over the world feel this way. Think you have it bad? What about the women in the middle east who suffer just because they are women? Beaten, raped, murdered, just because they are women. Compared to them, the worse off black American is living in luxury and freedom.

I hear oppression

The only people oppressing black people, are the democratic/progressive party and black people. Sharpie Sharpton WANTS you to be oppressed. That’s how he makes his living. So do the political left, that’s how they make their money. The more the government interferes with your life, the more dependent you are on them, the more they get to keep you as mental and emotional slaves. Oppressed? Really? Then break out and refuse to be. Not by riots and following the propaganda and brain washing, but by being a human being instead of a victim.

I hear pain

So do I. But not because of racism on the part of the white people. I hear pain because the black community destroys its own community. Violence, drugs, riots, burning down business owned by black people who live in their community. Two or three generations who have lived within the welfare system, but have every opportunity to get free of the grinding down of their dignity because they are afraid, or lazy, or it is easier to make money selling drugs and ruining even more people in their community. Self defeating behavior causes pain. Along with the fact that they have allowed themselves to become mentally enslaved by the system. All the opportunities given to anyone else are also available to black Americans, and probably more so than other folks.

I hear internalized oppression

Now there is a phrase: Internalized Oppression. That means that they SELF oppress. No one is doing it to them, they do it to themselves. Where did they learn that? Not from white people. Over my life span, I have seen proud, hardworking, business owning, educated, and wealthy black communities become ghettos of drunken, drugged, drop outs who spend their time on street corners doing nothing but encouraging each other to feel oppressed. Gangs are one of the most oppressive things in most communities, fostering fear and violence against their own, and if the police intervene, they whole community goes against them. Even if the gangs are committing horrific crimes. And then there are the professional riot folks hired by folks like Sharpie Sharpton and his pals telling everyone they are being brutalized by the white people. Again, it is easier to let someone tell you that you are a victim and believe it than it is to stand up and refuse to allow the government to tell you that you are unable to care for yourselves. Internalized Oppression – SELF defeat, SELF fulfilling prophecy.

I hear despair
I hear it too. From the people whose lives were destroyed by the riots. Those who will have no jobs from the fires. Those who will have no way to make a living now that their business is gone. I hear despair from white people who have done everything they can to prove that they are not racist toward black people. I live in the South, I don’t see it here. The only people in despair are those who feel they are being labeled as a racist just because of their skin color. The majority of Americans, by far, simply ignore skin color. WE DON’T CARE what color you are. We CARE about how you behave, treat others, and contribute to the community.

I hear anger

For what? Not getting every thing you want? Because you get arrested more than other folks? Have you ever considered the fact that the majority of crimes are committed by young black males? Don’t do the crime, don’t do the time. People of all colors get arrested and go to jail for many things. Get you kids off the street, make them go to school, make them understand that if they go to jail, then they will pay for the crime they committed. You think you are profiled? Well, duh, stop being the most criminal group out there. You blame it on white supremacy? Really? It isn’t just because you are black that you are watched closely by cops, it is because of the amount of crime the black people commit in certain communities. Preventing crime is the responsibility of the police. It is their job. And black people aren’t the only people to get hurt while being arrested. That’s what happens when you fight, argue, and taunt the police officers.

I hear poverty

Really? So do I. The poorest people in the US are the working poor. Blue collar workers who have to support their families on low income wages do without a lot more than those who can use their EBT card to buy everything from cigarettes to steaks. The hardest working people, the middle class, small business owners, those that keep the city and country functioning – including police, firemen and women, nurses, technicians, store owners, those that work hard to provide for their families so their kids will have more and do better than them – they also are taxed the most so that the EBT crowd can stay home and choose not to better themselves.

Poverty is not a black issue. There are people of all color who struggle to survive on a minimum amount of money. EBT people get free medical, free food, free lunches, free childcare, free education, free transportation in most cities, a place to live, and know where and how to get free food and clothing too. Black or white or brown or green with yellow dots, poverty is a real issue for many. And folks of every color are EBT people – sometimes for generations. By refusing to stay in school, having babies without daddies around to raise them, refusing to work menial jobs rather than accept welfare, anyone will find their community over burdened with poverty.

You say you have to worry all the time about your brother, cousins, friends, etc. being stopped by the police. EVERY person has that same worry. Because if you are breaking the law, then you get stopped. If you refuse to follow directions from the police, they you are arrested. If your community is known for violence, crime, and law breaking, then your community is watched more carefully to protect others from your violence, crime, and law breaking. Profiling only happens when it is merited. A lot of Hispanic and white communities bear the same burden.

Take responsibility for your actions. Black, white, rich, poor, behavior matters. There are always consequences for poor behavior.

Black lives matter. Of course they do. No one I know of who is white, has ever said differently. That mantra is from the likes of Sharpie Sharpton.

As the mother of an American Indian son, murdered by a white person, I could scream racism too. It wasn’t about race, it wasn’t even about the gun that was used, it was about a crazy man who decided to see how it felt to murder someone. Skin color had nothing to do with my son’s death. Someone’s evil decision and action killed him. And thank goodness the police and justice system were there to find the killer and lock him up so he could never harm another.
All Lives Matter.

It isn’t just a black thing.

A Choice To Make – If you are not religious, skip this. I will not entertain any nonsense.

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I had the strangest dream last night. I tend to dream entire books, and odd things like showing up for an appointment late and in inappropriate clothing, like wearing my nightgown to the office. But this dream was different, because it was about a metaphor from the way we live life, and the way the Hebrews lived life in the shortly after the death of Moses.

All of us know the story of Joshua and the fall of the walls of Jericho. If not, here is a short summary.

Battle of Jericho – Story Summary:

The battle of Jericho featured one of the most astounding miracles in the Bible, proving that God stood with the Israelites.

Featured image

After the death of Moses, God chose Joshua, son of Nun, to be the leader of the Israelite people. They set about to conquer the land of Canaan, under the Lord’s guidance. God said to Joshua, “Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

 Spies from the Israelites sneaked into the walled city of Jericho and stayed at the house of Rahab, a prostitute. But Rahab had faith in God. She hid the spies from the king’s soldiers, and when the time was right, she helped the spies escape out a window and down a rope, since her house was built into the city wall.

Rahab made the spies swear an oath. She promised not to give their plans away, and in return they swore to spare Rahab and her family when the battle of Jericho began. She was to tie a scarlet cord in her window as a sign of their protection.

Meanwhile, the Israelite people continued to move into Canaan. God commanded Joshua to have the priests carry the Ark of the Covenant into the center of the Jordan River, which was at flood stage. As soon as they stepped into the river, the water stopped flowing. It piled up in heaps upstream and downstream, so the people could cross on dry ground. God performed a miracle for Joshua, just as he had done for Moses, by parting the Red Sea.

God had a strange plan for the battle of Jericho. He told Joshua to have the armed men march around the city once each day, for six days. The priests were to carry the ark, blowing trumpets, but the soldiers were to keep silent.

On the seventh day, the assembly marched around the walls of Jericho seven times. Joshua told them that by God’s order, every living thing in the city must be destroyed, except Rahab and her family. All articles of silver, gold, bronze and iron were to go into the Lord’s treasury.

At Joshua’s command, the men gave a great shout, and Jericho’s walls fell down flat! The Israelite army rushed in and conquered the city. Only Rahab and her family were spared.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

My dream picked up where the army had started marching around the city, with only the priests blowing ram’s horns. I was standing on a hillside with several other people, one of whom was a sort of teacher. As we watched, the people of Jericho stood on the wall laughing and jeering at the Hebrew Army. They were throwing rotten food and rotten meat at the men as the marched, but other than the priest’s noise, the Hebrews were silent and did not so much as look up at the wall.

I assumed this was the sixth day of the march, because after they were done, they all went back to their encampment and settled in for the night. While the people inside the walls were celebratory and such, the Hebrews still remained quiet. I asked the teacher if they knew what was going to happen the next day, and he said that some did, but most did not. However, they trusted that Joshua and God knew what to do, so slept peacefully.

At that point, I pondered about following God’s plan, even if it didn’t make a lot of sense. Soldiers are trained to fight, it must be a very frustrating thing to be prepared to do so, and yet being told to simply march and stay quiet. I know that every soldier I know would be frustrated at not being able to do what they are trained to do. Then, a metaphor sparked in my mind about how we, like the soldiers, often have to slog through miserable times, not knowing why, but trying, with all our inner strength, to keep moving – even if stopping and taking a different route would make us feel better.

Because we are trying to follow God’s plan, and not our own or that of mankind, we know we just have to keep going. Some of us will, but some will simply walk down another path because it is easier. They think that eventually they will go back to the path they know God wants them on, but what they don’t know is that the further they go down the path of man, the further they diverge from the path of God. The apex never comes back together and they will have to find a way to cross from one path to another – and that will mean a long hard battle across no mans land. Each crossroad will be a decision that can take a person further away or toward the main path, and those decisions will make all the difference in their lives.

The next day when the horns started blowing and the Hebrew Army started circling the city, the citizens of Jericho were on the walls, as usual. But when the army kept marching after the first time around, they sensed something was going to happen, however, until the army showed signs of a willingness to fight, they wouldn’t do more than throw things and jeer. After the seventh round, all of us held our breath as the great shout went up from the soldiers, and the walls fell, allowing them to enter the city and slay all but the prostitute and her family.

This brought to mind the issues of following commandments, even when it seems there is no purpose to do so. Everyone else is breaking the rules, and seem to get away with it on a regular basis, but if we break the rules, we will fail at the task set before us when we came to earth to gain our place in eternity.

I think the whole issue of, “it isn’t fair” needs to be tossed out of our lives. Nothing was ever said about fair, as each of us is supposed to be on an individual path. Since we are not competing against anything but ourselves, what does fairness have to do with anything? There are people in the church, however, who feel that they must qualify as experts in everything including how others live the gospel. You know them, the members who complain because things aren’t done their way, or the Utah way, or the way we have always done things. It is those kinds of people who drive off a lot of members with their constant criticizing and finger pointing. God sees us as individuals with individual lessons to learn, and individual paths to explore. Why can’t other members remember that?

At the end of the day, those who survive turn themselves over God and live His plan. Our obedience and willingness to take the harder road to redemption and salvation keeps us in play for our full potential being accomplished. Those of us, myself included, who wander from the road God set before us, just add to our difficulty by trying to take the short cut, or easy way, in life. And end up at the crossroads filled with peril and discordance with The Lord.

The adversary wants us to suffer that discord because chaos in our lives gives him power to overcome the rules set before us as children of God. He wants us to take the path of least resistance so he can put obstacles in our way, tripping us with every step forward. Although the path may look smooth, the pitfalls are well hidden until we fall. Strict obedience to the laws of God help us to remain strong within the perils of life. But straying too far will leave us unprotected and destitute in spirit.

In my dream, I stood with Joshua and his army on the hill over Jericho, seeing the thousands of people who had died in defiance of the laws of God, and the debauchery that brought about the downfall of the wall. That wall represents the Lord’s protection from the things that would harm us, it also represents how living with in it can tear away our decency and let us be burdened with blood lust and hate.

We must stand firm in what God wants us to do, follow orders, stick with the plan, and deal with the bumps and dips in the road before us, even if it feels constricting. We may want to do it the easy way, but there is no easy way, only God’s way and the adversary’s way. Our choices are what makes the path in front of us straight, crooked, or short. Are you obeying God’s commands, or are you doing to try to do it on your own? Make a choice.

The Fat Lady Needs To Exit Stage Right, Now!

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Over the past four years, I have lost 168 pounds and change. Yes, I feel better, have more energy, look better, and enjoy my grandchildren more. However there are a few drawbacks that never occurred to me before hand.

Skin. Losing weight, even as slowly as I have, leaves a lot of saggy, ugly, rumply skin. Bat wings for upper arms, skin that sags down from thighs to knees, and it just keeps on going long after I stop moving. Totally gross, totally embarrassing. And wrinkles are much more prominent too. I always had a smooth face, now I have wrinkles that I never had before. The upside is I look a lot thinner, the down side is learning a whole new way to apply makeup – when I bother that is.

Clothes. For years, like most fat women, I tried to hide my weight in baggy clothes, ugly dresses, and lots of jeans and t-shirts. Underwear was pretty much limited to grannie panties, and because I am rather well endowed up top, very boring super strong support white bras. Now, I nearly have a panic attack when I go into a store to buy clothes. I have gone from a size 28-30 in Women’s (that means fat lady clothes in girl code) to a size 14-16. But because I still have the well endowed parts to contend with, I get a larger size top. I don’t like tight clothing, it generally shows every lump and bump, cellulite, and muffin top on a fat lady. But, I find if I get looser clothes, they fall off me, which can be horribly humiliating if it happens in public. Oh, and shoes. Did you know that when you lose a lot of weight your shoe size gets smaller? Neither did I, but I have had to replace a large portion of my shoes lately. I’ve gone from a 8.5 Wide to a size 7 average. How freaky is that?

Temperature. I have long passed menopause, but temperature change really causes me issues. If it is cold, I freeze when the same temperature in my fat lady stage didn’t bother me at all, because I was always too warm. I forget about that and pay for it by shivering constantly. Wind also has an effect on me. I used to relish the cool wind, not so much now. Besides, I actually got pushed hard enough to almost fall the other day. I am so used to being sturdy enough to stand up to anything up to about 40 miles an hour winds. Now I just feel cold and like a wimp. Heat still makes me miserable. I hate hot and humid climates, but I don’t get miserable as fast as I used to, and can actually stand hotter weather than before.

Hair. I have always had rather thin hair. Now, because I am healthier, stronger, and I actually take my meds and vitamins every day, my hair is thicker. So I have had to learn to change my whole regime while washing my hair. It is hard to break a habit of over 30 years. I keep heading for my old shampoo and conditioner when I simply do not need that brand any longer. It is, well, annoying to have a routine totally changed.

Food. I didn’t have surgery to lose weight. I became very, very ill. Even the doctors didn’t think I would pull through. Fooled them. Wasn’t my time yet. Anyway, I used to crave sweets, sodas, carbohydrates, and fatty foods. I could eat a full meal at any restaurant in America. I was always hungry, and I used food as my drug of choice to cope with life. Now, food – eh – whatever. I don’t often eat every day, and I rarely have more than one meal a day. I make it a policy to eat only half of what is on my plate when we go out to dinner. Because half of a serving is a bit more than a serving for one person should be. The standard meal is FAR too much. At least it is using American sized servings.

Attitude and Mood Swings. I have never been so easily angered as I am now. Part of that is hormonal because everything is still out of whack. But a lot of it has to do with my attitude. While I have never been one to be a door mat, I would often allow my feelings about being fat make me want to stay in the background and unnoticed. Today, I am pretty much one of those old ladies who says what she thinks and devil take the hindmost. Whereas, I used to stay quiet, I am now more than willing to debate and do verbal battle with those who oppose my stance on everything from politics to dealing with bratty kids. So, on one hand, I am dealing with moodiness, and on the other I am dealing with trying to shut the hell up and stay out of trouble. Not doing too well on either issue.

The up side to weight loss is better health, the downside is that my entire lifestyle had to change and catch up with my body changes. I sometimes don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I sometimes think that I am fooling no one, and the fat lady still resides in my mirror and every one knows it but me. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the way everything changed and continues to change as I keep losing weight.

I guess, because I can spot a phony a mile away, and because I don’t suffer fools gladly, that I tend to step back from every compliment. Like most fat ladies, people would compliment me on my eyes, color of my clothes, hair, but never say I was pretty. Now, folks do say I am pretty, but the fat lady hasn’t sung and exited stage right just yet. I really wish she would shut the hell up so I can get on with who I am becoming. Hateful cow.

“Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive.”

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“Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive.”

I’ve noticed lately that a lot of people my age tend to simply stop. They stop doing fun things, they stop being involved, they stop thinking and growing intellectually. They just stop. Then they sit about and complain about how boring life is, how hard it is to do things they used to do, how much they wish they had done such and such before they got too old. They are failing to thrive in the late years of their lives. And there is no excuse for that- period.

I know, things are a bit harder to do when knees hurt,backs don’t want to bend, and the body gets tired much easier than it did at the age of forty. We all have to slow down,but that doesn’t mean we have to stop. It may take longer, but there is no reason not to at least try.

Years ago there was a movie entitled Cocoon followed by another, Cocoon Returns. If you haven’t seen them, I suggest watching them at least once. It starred a lot of “stars” who were getting quite elderly. All stuck in a nursing home, waiting to die, fussing at one another, etc. Until things change due to a visit from the aliens. Look, I know it is really a sappy story, but what I loved about it was the willingness of almost all of the elderly folks to embrace that which was different. If their youth didn’t return, their joy for life certainly did. And, at the end of the day, their inaction became action, and their lives infinitely better.

Another movie I loved was Driving Miss Daisy, a stellar performance by one and all. Again, another character that defies the tendency to just sit down and stop. Fried Green Tomatoes is a fantastic film. Kathy Bates and Jessica Tandy were great together and the flashback between Mary-Louise Parker and Mary Stuart Masterson is equally dynamic. At the end of the day, we are still not sure which woman Jessica Tandy was as the elderly friend of Kathy Bates. Ambiguity saturates the film, while turning Katy Bates’ character from a meek doormat into a woman filled with confidence. And, of course, the character played by Shirley Mclaine in Steel Magnolias is just like I want to be when I get old.

I see many older folks off and doing things all over the world. They travel, explore, serve missions of compassion – regardless of sore knees and aching backs. They move, act, and they live every minute of every day. That is what I want to do too.

When our youngest son went off to college, my husband and I decided to work our way around the world. Eight years later, we finally returned to the US. As we were raising our granddaughter, she went right along with us. We lived in London, Hong Kong, and New Zealand, and only came back to the US due to health issues and the awful Socialized Medical care in NZ. We traveled all over each region and were enriched many times over by our experiences.

But I was in my forty’s when we did that. Now I am sixty, and it is going to become more difficult to do some of the things we did. So, we chose other things to do so we could travel. A cruise or four, a road trip across the US, and our big adventure this year is to travel across country by train. I don’t hike for miles any longer, but I sure can sit and enjoy the view from the train.

So there is no excuse not to thrive, people. Just get up, take a few steps, find a hobby that fulfills you, volunteer as a surrogate grandmother to rock babies at the hospital. Volunteer at the schools or libraries to help kids with their reading skills. Go help out a nursing home if you have a talent like playing the piano. There are a multitude of things you can do to overcome the lack of inertia and sedentary inaction. For me, being with my grandchildren is one of my greatest motivators. I write, I hang out on social media sites, I keep up with friends and work on my family history, and I am planning on taking art lessons. I have always wanted to learn how to paint. That will be so much fun!

So, you are old, so what? Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive. Just because your body is starting to creak and moan, it doesn’t mean your brain isn’t functioning. (Unless you have a serious condition, of course.) With all the medical miracles out today, most of us will live well into our eighties or nineties.

I have a friend who is ninety-eight. For the several decades, she has traveled the world following the performances of the operas of Wagner. All on her own, she would jump on a plane and off she would go to Italy, France, Germany, or any place in the world that the operas were being performed. What an amazing lady

who just kept on going like an Eveready Battery. She is running down now, but she is still in control of her life and decided to go home until the end of her days. It is heartbreaking, but at the same time, what a life she has had! Even now, she keeps busy with doing her family history and chatting with her friends and family.

Even if you are homebound, unable to walk, unable to drive, so what? There are a million things you can do to keep your brain healthy and busy. Never just stop and wait to die. We all have a finite amount of time here in this life. I could spend it worrying about death, or I can just get on with living while I am still here.

The more we let inaction rule our lives, the less likely we are to live a long life. Not just because our bodies need to move to function well, but because our brains atrophy at an alarming rate. Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive. But it is only you that can take that first step. I can’t wait to become a feisty old woman who says exactly what she wants to say about everything.

Come on people, get up, find a cause, reason, purpose, or passion to fill your life. Go on!

 

I Love Words

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Being in the middle of my first century, I have a different understanding of words and their usage than kids young enough to be my grandchildren. Sometimes it bugs me to no end when I hear kids talk in what is generally text speak slang, and I loathe reading text messages that use “UR” for “you are, or your” and the like. But, what bugs me most, is how the meaning of words are twisted around from the way I learned them.

The word ‘nice’ used to be a compliment. Now it isn’t at all. I have come to loathe the word as it is used as a dismissive, if subtle, insult. When I hear anyone under 60 use the word, it is always drawled in a tone of voice that absolutely grates on my nerves. Superlatives have to be super words now. We can’t say, “oh, that’s a lovely dress.” Now it needs to have more “oomph” when we compliment someone. We have to use words like amazing, cute, darling, smashing, hot, sexy, and always a word or phrase that invokes a meaning of thin.

I think a lot of the super superlatives are due, in part, to two generations, or more, of kids sitting in front of televisions as companies hype the products they sell to stay in business. Loud, excited, or oozing suggestions of seduction and sex, commercials overwhelm our senses with the urgent need to buy a product that will make us all beautiful, rich, popular, smell good, eat well, or any number of things. All of it is, of course, hyperbole. However, all those super Superlatives have become ingrained in our cultural brain and skip around in our verbiage. Insincere, in the deepest way, gaggles of teenage girls and middle aged women squeal and giggle at one another from the moment they meet until they finally shut up and go home. Generally, less than five minutes of meaningful conversation will take place in an hour.

I was shopping with my granddaughter last week. She is five, and very into shopping. We were standing next to a mother and daughter as they looked at clothes. Every other word was something inane. “Oh that’s cute. You will look hot in that (the kid was all of nine). That’s cool, you will rock that color.” Bella looked at me after the mother held up one particularly horrific outfit and said, loudly, “Nana, that girl is too fat for that outfit. She will look like a fat grape.” It took every bit of self control I had not to laugh. She was right. She was also not buying the babble. I was very proud of her for being both honest and straight forward in her comments. We will, however, need to work on her vocal volume a bit. The mother stomped off in a huff. The kid didn’t even pay attention to Bella. She was too busy cooing over the outfit that will make her look like a grape.

I, like, you know, hate it, when people, like, kinda, you know, never really say a full sentence without one of those, you know, like stupid phrases. I also get impatient with folks who hesitate and pause every other word, and fill in the silence with uhh, mmm, err, ahh, or any other nonsense noise. How about simply stating, “I need to think for a second before I answer that question?”

Now the Christmas season is here. Yes, I said, gasp, the C word. CHRISTMAS. I know all the history behind the X in Christmas as the symbol for Christ. Got it. Greeks, spell things weird. I also know that it is a holiday season for the Jewish and the made up one for all the ‘former slaves’ in America. And I also know that it is held during what was a Roman celebration of some god or another. However, traditionally, since the death of Christ, and the rise of protestants, Christmas has been a holy day celebration for CHRISTIANS. So, I don’t like words and phrases like holiday tree, and Xmas. I dislike people trying to secularize what is a sacred holiday for me. So the modern terms that take all the true meaning from the holy day annoy me.

With all the new technology around us, people don’t actually speak to each other very much. I know my teen texts her friends more than she every rings them on the phone and chats with them. Chat has come to mean typing furiously on the keyboard while on line with a bunch of other people. Chat rooms, a new use of an old term, are now electronic pretend places on line where a bunch of strangers type at each other and generally end up in “flame wars” over their comments. In my mind I see a vague, hazy room with a fire in the middle of the floor and people screaming at each other.

Sometimes I long for an intelligent conversation with someone who actually knows how to have a conversation. One where I speak, they listen, then they speak and I listen. A conversation using words that have more than two syllables would be good. A conversation that invokes laughter, concentration, and lightening quick thinking would be incredible.. A conversation with an adult, teen, or child that doesn’t have slang and hesitations throughout, but the proper use of complete sentences and a tendency to maintain at least a hint of a link to the original subject would make me happy. Too many of us are simply too distracted by shiny things, ringing cell phones, and movement to concentrate on a long conversation. Soon, like handwriting letters, conversation will be a lost art. Eventually, we will all communicate through the typed word, and only gesture and grunt like original cave dwellers when we actually meet in person.

Oh well, I still love words. Shakespeare, Spencer, Pope, Bronte, Wordsworth, Coleridge, Dickens, and even a few Science Fiction/ Fantasy writers use words that say what they mean and mean what they say. The words can make me laugh out loud, cry, ponder, and fill me with an overwhelming urge to write. I can only hope that future books aren’t filled with one word pages written in text speak.

Serendipitous Day

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This was written just before Easter in 2003 when we lived in Karori, New Zealand, a suburb of Wellington.

Today was one of those days when the normal turns serendipitous without notice. I got up and decided today would be a good day to walk into Wellington to get the things I needed for Crystal’s Easter Basket. It is about an hour’s walk if I don’t get in a big hurry. When I got to the Botanical Gardens, about half way there, I sat down on a bench to rest for a minute. I don’t usually do that, but today I simply felt a need to sit down.

As I was sitting there, an elderly man came along at a good pace. As he passed me, he said good morning, and I responded the same. He stopped and asked me if I was from America. We began to chat about where he had visited in the US and general information that two strangers usually exchange. He sat down and that is where things shifted to serendipity.

We began by talking about the beauty of the gardens, then that shifted to gardening in general, and before I knew it, we were talking about the magical wonders of creation. One topic led to another and we wandered through comparative religion, the occult, historical fact versus fiction or oral misinterpretation of the Holy Bible. Then we went back to the topic of astrology and the modern day fascination people seem to have with things like earth worship and the odd factions of fanatics who can ruin an entire religious concept by being over zealous and pushy. We talked about the differences and similarities between many religions and we discussed our own spiritual paths.

During the discussions things came up that we used to illustrate our personal growth. I may have lost my son to a murderer, but John lost his wife to one, and the killer was his own son. Oh, the horror of that! John said that was when he began to search for a spiritual balance and meaning in his life. Because he loves his wife so much, he knew that she could not be dead. We talked about the spiritual visits some people have and how powerful dreams can be in our lives. We discussed how people have to find the right path for themselves and the first step is to begin searching.

During our talk, we found out that his friend’s daughter is in my granddaughter’s class at school, and they play together a lot. We found out that we know some of the same people involved in different things that we do, and he said he had a lot of respect for the Mormons because of all they did to help people find their roots with our genealogy programs.

But the best part of the talk was when we were discussing what different religions believe. We agreed it came down to several concrete things that seem to be innate to the human spirit.

1. Less is more. The less we have of material things, the more we learn to depend on God for help.

2. To accept others who believe differently means we must have an honestly open mind.

3. In all religions, it all boils down to this: If we give, we get much more in return. One must learn to give of self to gain spiritual enlightenment or growth. In all religions, that one precept seems to come through more than anything else. In sacrifice we learn humility and compassion.

We had a spirited discussion on the impact the Old Testament has on the New Testament and Christian patterns of belief. Then we had a discussion about my beliefs and how I came to that through the experiences of my life. We talked about how neither of us believes in coincidence. We called it-planned coincidence, because everything happens for a reason. I never sit on a bench when I walk into Wellington. He usually doesn’t cut through the gardens on his way either. Usually he doesn’t do more than say good morning, and I rarely talk to strange men other than to respond to a greeting. I guess we were meant to meet. He called it fate.

It was a wonderful, serendipitous morning that required me to think, laugh, talk about things that I often ponder, and share my inner most feeling about God. As we parted ways, he shook my hand and said that he hoped one day he would have the spiritual strength and balance that I possess. What a great compliment to get from someone I’ve only known a few hours.

I don’t know that we will ever meet again, but today was meant to be and I feel wonderful. My brain got a workout, my spirit got a boost, and I laughed a great deal. John is 72 years old, fit, agile in mind and body, and he is finding his spiritual maturity a very interesting path indeed. I am so glad I got to be a part of his journey.