Category: Habits

“Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive.”

Posted on Posted in Choices, conversation, Driving, Family, Friendship, Grandchildren, Habits, History, loss, Marriage, passions, TravelTagged , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

“Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive.”

I’ve noticed lately that a lot of people my age tend to simply stop. They stop doing fun things, they stop being involved, they stop thinking and growing intellectually. They just stop. Then they sit about and complain about how boring life is, how hard it is to do things they used to do, how much they wish they had done such and such before they got too old. They are failing to thrive in the late years of their lives. And there is no excuse for that- period.

I know, things are a bit harder to do when knees hurt,backs don’t want to bend, and the body gets tired much easier than it did at the age of forty. We all have to slow down,but that doesn’t mean we have to stop. It may take longer, but there is no reason not to at least try.

Years ago there was a movie entitled Cocoon followed by another, Cocoon Returns. If you haven’t seen them, I suggest watching them at least once. It starred a lot of “stars” who were getting quite elderly. All stuck in a nursing home, waiting to die, fussing at one another, etc. Until things change due to a visit from the aliens. Look, I know it is really a sappy story, but what I loved about it was the willingness of almost all of the elderly folks to embrace that which was different. If their youth didn’t return, their joy for life certainly did. And, at the end of the day, their inaction became action, and their lives infinitely better.

Another movie I loved was Driving Miss Daisy, a stellar performance by one and all. Again, another character that defies the tendency to just sit down and stop. Fried Green Tomatoes is a fantastic film. Kathy Bates and Jessica Tandy were great together and the flashback between Mary-Louise Parker and Mary Stuart Masterson is equally dynamic. At the end of the day, we are still not sure which woman Jessica Tandy was as the elderly friend of Kathy Bates. Ambiguity saturates the film, while turning Katy Bates’ character from a meek doormat into a woman filled with confidence. And, of course, the character played by Shirley Mclaine in Steel Magnolias is just like I want to be when I get old.

I see many older folks off and doing things all over the world. They travel, explore, serve missions of compassion – regardless of sore knees and aching backs. They move, act, and they live every minute of every day. That is what I want to do too.

When our youngest son went off to college, my husband and I decided to work our way around the world. Eight years later, we finally returned to the US. As we were raising our granddaughter, she went right along with us. We lived in London, Hong Kong, and New Zealand, and only came back to the US due to health issues and the awful Socialized Medical care in NZ. We traveled all over each region and were enriched many times over by our experiences.

But I was in my forty’s when we did that. Now I am sixty, and it is going to become more difficult to do some of the things we did. So, we chose other things to do so we could travel. A cruise or four, a road trip across the US, and our big adventure this year is to travel across country by train. I don’t hike for miles any longer, but I sure can sit and enjoy the view from the train.

So there is no excuse not to thrive, people. Just get up, take a few steps, find a hobby that fulfills you, volunteer as a surrogate grandmother to rock babies at the hospital. Volunteer at the schools or libraries to help kids with their reading skills. Go help out a nursing home if you have a talent like playing the piano. There are a multitude of things you can do to overcome the lack of inertia and sedentary inaction. For me, being with my grandchildren is one of my greatest motivators. I write, I hang out on social media sites, I keep up with friends and work on my family history, and I am planning on taking art lessons. I have always wanted to learn how to paint. That will be so much fun!

So, you are old, so what? Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive. Just because your body is starting to creak and moan, it doesn’t mean your brain isn’t functioning. (Unless you have a serious condition, of course.) With all the medical miracles out today, most of us will live well into our eighties or nineties.

I have a friend who is ninety-eight. For the several decades, she has traveled the world following the performances of the operas of Wagner. All on her own, she would jump on a plane and off she would go to Italy, France, Germany, or any place in the world that the operas were being performed. What an amazing lady

who just kept on going like an Eveready Battery. She is running down now, but she is still in control of her life and decided to go home until the end of her days. It is heartbreaking, but at the same time, what a life she has had! Even now, she keeps busy with doing her family history and chatting with her friends and family.

Even if you are homebound, unable to walk, unable to drive, so what? There are a million things you can do to keep your brain healthy and busy. Never just stop and wait to die. We all have a finite amount of time here in this life. I could spend it worrying about death, or I can just get on with living while I am still here.

The more we let inaction rule our lives, the less likely we are to live a long life. Not just because our bodies need to move to function well, but because our brains atrophy at an alarming rate. Inaction is not an excuse for failure to thrive. But it is only you that can take that first step. I can’t wait to become a feisty old woman who says exactly what she wants to say about everything.

Come on people, get up, find a cause, reason, purpose, or passion to fill your life. Go on!

 

Shopping With The Husband

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Never take your husband shopping at the grocery store. Especially if he is hungry. One never knows what they will find when they get to the check out counter. It is even worse if we go to get groceries at Wal-Mart. Not only will odd types of food find their way into the trolley, but other things like tools, duct tape, smelly candles (that I can’t stand, but he likes), and the occasional packet of underpants will end up in the trolley too.

However, when we are in the grocery store together, I have a list, and send him off on explorations to find certain items. “OK,” he says, practically dancing, “what do I need to go find?” If he were a hunting dog, he would be salivating with excitement. “We need a loaf of French Bread. Not the kind in the regular bread aisle, but the Rustic French Bread from the bakery. Oh, and while there, check and see if they have any fresh hummus – the garlic kind – at the deli.”

“Rustic French Bread, bakery and hummus – garlic – deli next to bakery,” he repeats. Then heads off in the correct direction. I know that he will be gone a while, because he will get distracted before he ever gets to the bakery area, and once there, he will have forgotten what I sent him for in the first place. He will remember, bread, hummus – “Oh Look, CHEESE! Butterkasse, yummm.”  And when he gets back he will have the wrong bread, the wrong hummus, but he will have his favorite cheese.

Meanwhile, I will have finished with at least half my list, working methodically from one side of the store to the other. I take what he brought and send him off again. “Dish soap for the DISHWASHER, fabric softener, and I need some of those small paper plates.” “Dishwasher soap, Fabric softener, paper plates – small.” Off he goes.

I know, you see, that he will have to go past the automobile aisle, the office and craft aisle, and the miscellaneous household doodads aisle. He will get totally distracted the second he finds the light bulbs and he will spend ten minutes looking at stuff before he gets to the aisle that has all the cleaning products. Meanwhile, I keep on moving and filling my trolley. Eventually, he turns up, with Dawn soap, dryer sheets, and a huge container of paper plates, regular size – because they were cheaper that way. Along with light bulbs for our collection of about 50 packets already, super glue, some crayons for the grandkids, and a stapler – because it looks so cool!

The next things on the list will stump him for even longer. I am sending him after cookies, hot dogs, and a whole chicken for baking. Diabolical. Before he even gets out of sight, he is distracted by the magazine rack. He slows down and lets his body keep walking forward while his head turns as far as it can while he checks out the new computer mags. I know, of course, that it will take him forever to decide on hot dogs. He will end up with Hebrew National, but he won’t be able to stop himself from doing all sorts of computations to justify buying the most expensive hot dogs in the store. And he will end up with a few Lunchables for the grandkids. The cookie aisle will slow him down even more, because I know he likes Oreos more than any other store bought cookie, but there are so many more less expensive, and he will do the hem haw dance trying to talk himself into getting the Oreos. Then comes the chicken. A whole chicken. That means he has to decided how big, how much to spend, which brand, and by the time I am nearly through the store, he will come back with what I wanted. Sort of, anyway.

Then I send him off again for Ice Cream, get some for himself, and then find some difficult to find flavor for me. He will get Blue Bell chocolate chip for himself if they have it, and then end up with strawberry sundae for me from some off brand. (I actually feed this to the grandkids. Ice cream is ice cream to them.) While he is off doing that little chore, I put back the Dawn soap and get the right stuff for the dishwasher, I put back the dryer sheets and get the right fabric softener, and replace the paper plates with what I want. I keep his light bulbs, super glue, crayons, and stapler. I figure we can always us them some day. I end up getting the right French Bread, hummus, and replace on of his favorite cheese packets with one of my favorites. He never notices the different products when we check out, he is too distracted by the magazine rack.

Am I a horrid wife? Nah, just one who knows I have to keep him busy to keep him from putting odd things in my trolley when I am not looking. He is helping by staying out of my hair. It works. Really. Try it next time you have to take the husband with you. Just don’t forget about him and leave him in the magazine aisle, the store management really doesn’t like that at all!

Where Is My Phone?

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I have a love/hate relationship with my cell phone. I love to have it when I really need it, but I hate dealing with it most of the time. I am one of those people who lets the phone battery go dead, and forget to charge it for days at a time. I once managed two weeks of no phone until my husband charged it for me. I guess it makes sense, because I don’t like to talk on any phone these days.

I have an old AT&T phone that has the slide out keyboard. It doesn’t get on line, or do all the apps (Thank Goodness), but it does take photos, does texts, and, of course, makes phone calls. And really, that is all I need. My phone is small, light, fits in my pocket or hand, or handbag easily, and it still works just fine. I don’t see any reason to run out and buy the newest toy that comes out every year or so. I am 60 years old, why in the world would I want to try to watch television on a screen that is six inches wide?

We went into a store last night to check out a new program for our family package. Since my phone is old, and I bought it off e-Bay to replace my original phone, it is unlocked. Easy peasy, switch over. But, the sales girl just didn’t understand why I didn’t want to carry around one of those monster phones that also serves as a video player, music player, e-book reader, and does everything by touch screen.

First of all, I am married to a security IT guy. Paranoid doesn’t begin to describe how he is about security on all electronics in our home. After listening to him telling about what the FBI told him in a meeting on Internet security, I am a bit paranoid too. It is easy, super easy, beyond super easy to hack into a phone that has all the bells and whistles and gain access to all your information.

Second, I have issues with touch screens. Ask my family. They do not work for me. I touch the darned thing, it just sits there. I swipe my fingers in the right order, and it still just sits there. No matter what I do, or how I do it, the darned thing will not respond in time to answer a call. I had one of those for a few days, then I gave it to my granddaughter. I blame it on always having cold hands, but I really think that electronic things simply do not like me. My husband says it is because I zap everything with my electric personality. (rolling eyes here)

So, I finally convinced the 20ish girl that I really didn’t want a phone with all the bells and whistles, I quite liked my little old phone, and as long as it works, I’m good. Does that make me an old grumpy lady? I use tech stuff all the time. (Duh, I blog don’t I?) I don’t love every bit of it, but I am capable enough to make things work most of the time. (I do love my Kindle, saves on room, and I can carry around dozens of books all at once.)

However, I will probably forget to charge the phone, or I will charge it and leave it sitting on the table the next time I go out of the house. I keep trying to lose it altogether, but if I do, I will be stuck with one of those monster phones, or digging around e-Bay to find a replacement for it. See, love/hate issues ensue every time I bring up the subject of Where Is My Phone?

Have you ever wondered?

Posted on Posted in Choices, Habits, Uncategorized, WomenTagged , , Leave a comment

Have you ever wondered at the ads that keep popping up about different treatments to make you look younger, whatever? Why is it that most of them are from a “secret formula” especially designed by some scientist or dermatologist? I bet if we all got the list of the junk in them, they would all be pretty much the same. Then, they have the audacity to charge upwards of a hundred dollars for a 4 ounce jar of the goop. And women buy it! Are we all really that paranoid about growing older? Good skin comes from eating right, hydration, and genes. Don’t smoke, don’t drink to excess, and for heaven’s sake don’t do drugs. And go easy on the makeup, it clogs pours no matter how well you clean your face.

My sisters and I (four of us girls) always had nice skin. My mother didn’t allow us to drink soda, eat junk food, and we used good old Ivory soap and Jergen’s lotion to keep our skin in good conditions. I still use soap and water to clean my face, and I use an inexpensive night cream (Ponds) to moisturize my face once a day. Oh, and a sun screen anytime I am outdoors for very long. I’m not a beauty at 60, but my skin is still in good shape.

Anyway, there are no “secrets formulas” that out do common sense and practicality. I know, some suffer from the dreaded acne gene, but keeping your face clean is the most important part of dealing with that.  Photo is from waaaay back when. And the handsome guy next to me is my hubby.

couple 1971

Forever Young

Posted on Posted in Children, Choices, Family, Friendship, Grandchildren, Habits, History, Military, Parenting, Politics, ReligionLeave a comment

On September 11, 2014, my first born will be 40 years old. For many people that requires a birthday party with black balloons and silly “Over The Hill” banners. It has been almost 19 years since he moved on, and still we miss him every day. But my son, you see, is forever young. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6-AYce-_M

If he were here, physically, he would be a proud father of his baby girl, and an even more proud grandfather to her baby girl. He would hug his girl, and spoil her girl, and still be a strong man to lean on when they needed him the most.

I don’t know what he would be doing as a profession, but I know it would be something outdoors. He hated being cooped up inside, no matter the weather. If it was hot, he would be off somewhere playing or fishing in the water. If it was cold, he would get up to all manner of things that required slipping, sliding, and general mayhem, with a bit of danger mixed in for spice.

I don’t know what his political bent would be, but I expect it would be about as conservative and his parents and brother tend to be. I don’t know if he would be religious, but I know he would be spiritual. I don’t know if he would like all the modern gizmos and technology, but I know he could master all of them quickly. I don’t know what kind of vehicle he would drive, but I know he would own a Harley.

But, I don’t need to know, because my son, you see, is forever young.

He would still like boxing, and loud music. Music that ranged from classical to heavy metal met his approval. He would still like reading and learning on his own, in his own way. He would still love to sit and talk with the elderly and people who captured his interest. He would still love to tinker with motors, even if they frustrated him every time he worked on one. He would still love his family, his friends, and impress strangers with his knowledge about all sorts of things. He would still give you the shirt off his back if you needed it, and make sure that you had something to eat if you were hungry. He would still support the Viet Nam Veterans, and give them all the honor they deserve. He would still want to hang out with his brother, and probably torment him as only a big brother can. He would still be our Arron. Because he knew that growing up didn’t mean becoming someone else, it just meant being more who you are. He was philosophical that way.

He would still get into fist fights, but maybe not as much. He would still stand up for the underdog, but he might not lose his temper over misjustice so easily. He would still protect his mother, wife, daughter, niece, or any other female in his life, but he wouldn’t put up with drama trauma from any female. Like most guys, it either made him uncomfortable, annoyed, or confused. He would still love his beer on a hot day, and his whisky on a cold night, and he would still sneak bites of dinner as it is being cooked.

He would still like to go shirtless while working outdoors, and he would still wear those motorcycle boots, no matter how hot it was. He would still wear 501 button down Levi jeans, Harley shirts, and the occasional button down with the sleeves torn out of it. He would still have his silver front teeth instead of changing the caps out for something like everyone else. And he would still have long hair, a beard, and wear an ear ring, even though he knows it bugs me.

He would still have his cheeky, wicked grin that told me he was up to something he shouldn’t be. He would still make me laugh at his irreverent humor, tell me that I looked like a dumpling, and tease me about everything I do, just to get me riled. He would still walk to the beat of his own drummer, follow his dreams, and fly his kite just the way he wanted to.

Yes, he would do those things, and he probably is doing just that where he is. Because, you see, my son is forever twenty-one.

Happy Birthday Arron. Welcome to the old fart club. I love you. Mom.

Forever Young. Arron Glen Combs September 1974 - Jan 1996.
Forever Young. Arron Glen Combs September 1974 – Jan 1996.

 

Kiss My Grits, GOP

Posted on Posted in Choices, Habits, History, Law, PoliticsLeave a comment

paki's_flag_bearI received THIS in my email today:

Karron,

I hate to bug you — but our records show you haven’t made a donation to the RNC.

Can you chip in $5 today?

There is a first time for everything.

Right now is the perfect time to make your first donation. A group of donors has recognized how critical these next few weeks are for the 2014 elections and has agreed to match every dollar you donate. So today, your $5 donation will count as $10 on our records.

Chip in $5 and double your impact today.

Thanks,

My Reply:

There is absolutely no argument you can give me that will ever cause me to donate to the Republican party again. I was on the fence about being a Tea Party Independent voter because I have always voted as a Republican. After the dirty tricks and downright voter fraud that Thad Cockerun committed when the Republicans in Mississippi voted the RINO out of office, I have no desire to be attached to an organization as crooked as the Republican party. Oh, I will keep my registration, mainly so I can vote out any incumbent who is as dirty as that old lizard. Thad should have retired ages ago, but he is hooked on the power, privileges, and money that he has accrued over the past 50 years. He has long since forgotten he is a PUBLIC SERVANT to the people who put him in office in the first place. Instead, he has become the Plantation Overseer, whipping the slaves into doing what he wants, even if the plantation owners, AKA the voters, are unwilling to support his behavior any longer.

He will still lose in November, because I can guarantee that every single democrat who voted for him (multiple times) in the Primary Run-Off will vote for the Democratic contender. All his machinations, lies, and promises to them make him no more than their yes man. He will have to jump when they say, and do as they want, even if he did somehow cheat his way back into office. So, I am going to write in the name of Chris McDaniel, like almost every other person who voted for him in the Primary. He WON the primary, and he won the run-off, via the Republican and Independent voters. The only what that creepy, moronic, lizard won was because he lied, cheated, and sold his soul to the evil that is the democratic (Socialist/Communist) party of the United States. If I couldn’t write in McDaniel’s name, I would rather vote for a democrat than someone as rotten as Thad. At least he would be a known enemy and not stab voters in the back like The Lizard Overseer did.

And you know what disgusts me the most? YOU LET HIM DO IT! In fact, he had to have your blessing in the GOP, or it would never have been sanctioned. Are you really so afraid of the pot head in chief and his minion, dope smoking, terrorist chums? Disgusting. Just down right disgusting. Take my name off your list, do not email or contact me again in ANY way, because I am now a Tea Party Independent – even if I do keep my affiliation with your crooked, lying, anti-American, Anti-Constitution party. Like I said, I am only doing so, because I want to vote out every single rotten career politician in what USED to be a party that believed in, and supported, the constitution as I do. And you have the unmitigated arrogance a for money to support a criminal. Words I want to use are the ones that would get my mouth washed out with soap, so I will simply say, “No, I will NOT send you five dollars. Your buddy Thad, and the GOP, can rot in hell for all I care. Go away. Leave me alone.

Karron Combs

Yeah, I am totally ticked off at the GOP. Independent leaning toward Libertarian is now my affiliation. Feeling very betrayed, and angry.

Finding A Way Home

Posted on Posted in Choices, Driving, Habits, History, loss, MilitaryTagged Leave a comment

 

Finding A Way Home

 

There is a homeless Vet who sits at the off ramp from I240 and Getwell. He is there everyday, rain or shine. I don’t normally stop and give money to homeless people (I do a lot of donating to shelters etc.) especially if I am alone. But one day I was prompted to do so by that annoying little voice that always expects me to do the right thing. All I had on me was a ten dollar bill.

 

I prevaricated, then motioned him over before the light turned green and handed it to him. He looked down, saw the amount, and tried to give it back! I just shook my head and told him to share what he could with those that had less and pay it forward. I still see him every time I am down that way, and if I have some cash, I will give it to him. But even if all I do is wave, he waves back.

 

Some days he looks like he is doing better, cleaned up, not so hungry, not drunk, some days he looks like he hasn’t slept in a week or two and needs some TLC. The point is, none of us know when that might be us sitting at that corner. Most of us are only a few paychecks away from being homeless in today’s financial quagmire. All we can do is work hard, pray hard, stay focused, love those who love us, and do our best.

 

Sometimes the hardest things seem beyond our best coping skills, but later, on down the road, you will wonder how you managed to overcome and move forward. One day, that Vet won’t be at his corner ever again. He will either find a way to fix himself, or he will give up and become one of the millions who die of sorrow every year. Either way, until he disappears, I will continue to offer what spare cash I have, and at the very least, acknowledge him as another human soul who simply wants to find a way home.

 

Seniors are not equal to others. A RANT.

Posted on Posted in Children, Choices, Habits, ParentingTagged , Leave a comment

To the CEO of Malco Theaters: Today, Saturday, April 12, 2014, my husband and I went to the Olive Branch, Mississippi theater to see Rio 2. We were there 20 minutes early so we could find a seat that would be comfortable for my husband as he just had surgery on his leg. Shortly before the movie started, a family sat down behind us. The theater was far from full, they could have sat anywhere else. However, as soon as they sat down, the boy started talking in a normal loud tone of voice as the preview for other movies came on.

I turned at looked at him and his mother got snippy and said, “I know you weren’t look at my child like that.” I said, “I was. I just wanted to know if you taught him to be quiet during the movie yet.” She stormed out and went to the manager. A woman with short blond hair, and I suppose her assistant manager, came into the theater just as the movie started. The woman said to me, as I once more looked back at her son who was still talking loudly, that the manager was watching me. So I went to the manager and told her that the kid was being loud and I simply wanted to be able to hear the movie. But, that the mother wouldn’t make him be quiet. She asked me to step out into the hall, so I did, knowing I would miss part of the movie.

When I explained to her what was going on, she said, “It is a child’s movie and children can be expected to talk and make noise.” I nearly went incandescent with shock! Since when is it ACCEPTABLE for other people to be rude and disrespectful in a theater by talking? Then the manager told me that we should move our seats, or we should go to a later movie when children wouldn’t be there. WHAT?! I did NOTHING wrong, I was there LONG before that obnoxious family, and my husband needed to sit in a place where he could stretch his leg out in front of him. The rest of the front row was full. Why should WE have to move because someone else was obnoxious?

The manager said straight out that she couldn’t do anything about the family, because SHE didn’t hear the kid talking. Of course not she was over by the entry, we were half way across the theater from the door. But, her attitude was that we were the problem and we had to leave or move. We left. My husband got a special pass to see the movie later, but hell will freeze over before I go back to that theater. I expect, at the very least, an abject apology from the manager, and from you, Mr. or Ms. CEO. I also think you need to train your managers to understand that NO ONE has the right to be rude and disrespectful to other patrons by talking out loud in the movie.All that child learned today was that his helicopter mother, and ineffectual father, will make sure he can do whatever he wants, no matter how badly behaved he is.

And I learned something too, older people are treated like criminals because we KNOW good manners when we see them and proper theater etiquette. How can anyone say it is EXPECTED for children to talk throughout a move? Since when has that sort of behaviour become acceptable to people who supposedly run theaters for the entertainment of all races, ages, and people? Obviously, those of us who expect manners and to be treated with respect when we have done NOTHING wrong are not equal to the rest of the people who are inept at parenting. Oh, yes, the manager made it clear she wasn’t there to parent other people’s children. But, I bet if I had been talking out loud, or chatting on my phone, that I would have been told off by the manager. Double standards really annoy me.

I expect an apology from YOU, Mr. or Ms. CEO, and I will expect to hear from that manager as well. If not, well, the internet is a great tool for making my thoughts known to many, many people in a very short time. After all, other seniors should know that we aren’t treated equally to other patrons. The manager said I had an attitude, but the mother didn’t. Well, I was being insulted by the manager and the ignorant mother was being proactive and accusing me of being. . . you know, I have NO idea what her accusation was. I just know, I was the one who had to be “punished” while that little prince was allowed to be as annoying as he wanted to be. I honestly wonder if that mother and the manager aren’t friends outside the theater.

Karron Combs

No New Year Resolutions.

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I have no New Year Resolutions, not a one. I stopped torturing myself with those things ages ago. Every year I would start out with a list of things I wanted to do. Most were self serving, like losing weight, and some were grandstanding, like I will not let others tell me what to do. Of course, they were destined to fail, leaving me feeling like an idiot. I mean, how can one be so stupid as to always let themselves down, every year, on a regular basis?

After failing so many years in a row, I finally realized that I was simply setting myself up to feel like a loser. I hurt my own feelings, and made myself mad at ME, all for some stupid non-tradition that is encouraged by popular demand. Why? I don’t know, maybe it was just a desperate attempt to fit in, to succeed, to find something worthwhile about myself. But it always worked just the opposite from what I planned.

So, a few years ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to give in and make impossible resolutions about my life. Because, you see, life doesn’t stick to a plan. It has a way of making its own path, and we are pretty much along for the ride. I can’t control life around me, only myself. Most of the time, life around me is on a whole different page than I am at any given moment! How can we resolve to accomplish anything in a measurable way when it comes to feelings and thoughts? If it is something concrete, for instance, completing a course at school, going to the gym, or getting a promotion, perhaps we can make a plan. However, you might get sick, and miss a lot of school. You might be too tired, busy, or bored to go to the gym after a week or so. You might be downsized at your company and have to start your own business to survive. There is no getting around it, no matter your resolve, life just keeps happening while you plan. And it almost always throws a spanner into the works to muck everything up.

Now that can be a good thing, making you move outside the box and do something different and new. But, it means that you will have to forsake your resolutions – again – and if you are emotionally tied to those resolutions, it can make you pretty miserable. Or not. Depends on how much you have invested yourself in the process and plan. I suppose, one should be flexible with resolutions.

I know many folks out there in the world managed to stick with a resolution come hell or high water. No matter what life throws at them, they stick to the plan. But, have you ever wondered what would have happened if you went out to your friends dinner party instead of going to the gym? Maybe you would have met the love of your life, or, if already with the love of your life, maybe you would fall into romance all over again. You see, your choices always have a possibility of at least two outcomes. If you stick to the plan, you know exactly what will happen. You will be tired, smelly, and sore from a workout. But, maybe the second or tenth outcome, well, it might be magical enough to change your life forever.

Now, in my crazy life, I no longer set myself up to fail. Because I have finally figured out what a New Year means. It isn’t a do over, remake, new start, or second chance. It means that you get to change course, learn from last year, and make a choice to be flexible in all that you do. All the New Year does is to make it easy to switch paths, change gears, explore something new, or simply stop always doing and just be. A New Year is a date on the calendar. Nothing will be any different on the first of January than it was on the thirty-first of December. All your problems will still be there, the difference being, that after the holidays, time with family and friends, maybe you have a clearer vision of your life.

No New Years Resolution means I am not locked into a plan. I can do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and with that flexibility, I cannot fail. I can only move forward, just like the path in front of me encourages me to do. Happy New Year everyone, I hope you find it magical.

No Tech Christmas

Posted on Posted in Children, Choices, Family, Grandchildren, Habits, ParentingTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It occurred to me, oh, several months ago, as I was organizing my Christmas list, that I wanted to give my grandchildren vintage toys. Well, remakes of vintage toys, the originals are far too pricey. I wanted them to have a Christmas where nothing they received from my husband and I needed a battery, cable, or plug in. It seems that we have overwhelmed our kids with things that beep, flash, talk, and require constant attention. It was time to get back to basics.

For my nine year old grandson, there were a set of stilts, modern and better made, but stilts, nonetheless. A honest to goodness wooden yoyo along with a trick book just like they had in the 1950’s, along with crazy straws, paddle balls, a board game, several joke books, and the Dangerous Book for Boys. I added a science project about gross things, and treats. Not one thing required any sort of power except boy power. He loved everything, and was working to master the yoyo when they went home.

For my six year old granddaughter, we got an art set. A real, honest to goodness set with everything from paints to pencils and everything to go with it. She is really into drawing and such. Several coloring books joined the set, along with lots and lots of paper. She also go the crazy straws and paddle balls, but girl stuff too, like a pair of shoes and an out fit. She got the Daring Book for Girls, that matched Nick’s for boys. And hair pretties along with a grooming kit. Nothing needed power other than the power of a girl. She was over the moon, and spent hours drawing.

And our little Addie? Her favorite toys is a small felt dolly I picked up for a buck at the dollar store. Who would have though!? We also got her a tent to play in, and to help corral her when we need to have our hands free for something. She loves that too, along with the drum, and soft toys she got. She was really having more fun with with the paper and boxes than anything.

It is easy to go on line and pick out things that beep and buzz for kids. It is much harder to think of the way their minds work and come up with innovative ways to entertain them. It is easy to let a machine entertain them, but it is, in my opinion, to encourage them to explore, invent, create, and study the world around them. Making them the center of the play, not the machine, will stretch their minds, help them create, and encourage exploration in all manners of topics.

Next year is going to be a challenge, but I am already doing research, and I expect something will come to mind. Like Jax and a jump rope for Bella, and some sort of cool science experiment for Nick. I’m thinking mad scientist, cool stuff. Addie will be easy, everything from toys to clothes . . . and boxes and paper.

I love being a Nana.